Showing posts with label Integrity follows us. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Integrity follows us. Show all posts

 

CHANGE IS GOOD; USE IT WELL!

CHANGE YOUR PRESENT LIFE!

Now this is interesting. While we can’t change the past or predict the future, we can change the present life we are living.  We have the choice, every single day, to do what we’re doing.
I would love to sit here and tell you that I’m writing from home because I was so inspired that I quit my “other” job to pursue my dream of being a full-time fiction writer. I would love to say that I’m going to edit all of the negativity out of my life once and for all… and live happily ever after for the rest  of my life.   Of course, it’s not that easy. There are real life issues when it comes to living the present.  Personal issues, family issues and… well, life itself crowds the every day agenda.   If we could all just do what we wanted to do every day, it would be nice, but that’s not realistic.
This brings us to a logical question: What can you take out of your present to make your life more of what you want it to be? Believe it or not, there are things you can change to make your world more of what you want it to be. Too often we settle for things as they are, assuming that is how they have to be. They don’t. You have the God-given ability to cut things out : negative people, bad places, unhealthy activities and habits, and whatever it takes in order to improve your current life’s story. Just as when you’re editing the written word,  it’s not easy to cut things out, but it can be accomplished.
This is what we need to do in real life though… edit. When you’re writing your life, you can’t have everything in the story or it gets cluttered and chaotic. What’s important to you? Give your own story strength of character and integrity of personal choices.  You can’t control what others do, but you can control your own actions!
The past may be gone and the future might be uncertain, but we have the power to choose our “ now.”

YOU CAN'T FAKE THE TRUTH


HONESTY IS INTEGRITY!

 OTHERS MAY NOT LIKE WHAT YOU SAY, BUT THE TRUTH WILL ALWAYS BE YOUR ADVANTAGE  
 

Sadly, dishonesty is everywhere… in all cultures, countries, and religions.  Lack of honesty is for many different reasons, unfortunately,  most dishonesty is for personal gain. The gain is either monetary or per recognition.

There are doctors who not only malpractice but in addition file unjust insurance claims, lawyers who think they have to be dishonest (misrepresent) to win cases, and similarly, there is an overabundant amount of dishonesty in the business world!  However, one of the worst forms of dishonesty is with those with that we interact daily.

It appears that we are afraid to speak up or address a particular wrong that we see or are part of ourselves. Who does this help?  Not the offender as the negative behavior will continue unless addressed. Often in my writings, I call this Integrity.  Integrity is addressing a wrong (or in most cases) doing the right thing… regardless of the outcome.  It is not always an easy choice but must be done if we are to make the World a better place for others. It is a daily struggle.

The interesting thing in this is that others might have another perception, another meter to judge on just what is honest and what is dishonest. And sometimes it is not easy to say that they were wrong.  A lawyer friend once said to me, “We lawyers are there to bend the truth so that it can fit into the law.”  Yes, he was being glib.  But, for some people, this is dishonesty, for a lawyer… this might be honest work.

And of course, the most difficult thing to be honest about… is feelings. Why? As humans, we have problems with both telling the truth and accepting it too. Sometimes, we are so close to it… that it’s difficult to see.  And then, there is always that personal agenda.

The truth is right and will always be right; there is no reason to be ashamed or afraid of the truth.

PEOPLE WHO CHANGE THE WORLD; WHICH ONE ARE YOU



Look around you and you’ll see three kinds of people.  There are those who hate their life and work, and complain bitterly, those who just tolerate their life and work and see it as their "lot in life," and finally, those who love their life and work, and relish it. That's because it's their "life's-work."  The third category is a small subset of all professionals world-wide, but this group stands out because these are often the people who change the world for the better.  They never stop trying to improve the lives of others... no matter how small the change.
In my work as a writer, I’ve had the opportunity to connect with people who’ve made a true and measurable impact in the world.  Each and every time I have met and written about them, it has been an honor.  However, among this group of what I shall call "influencers" there are also many everyday people who have found a special niche in which they’ve contributed at the highest level.
It’s critical to note that people who’ve made a real difference aren’t all privileged, advantaged or “special” by any stretch.  Many come from disadvantaged families, crushing circumstances and initially limited capabilities, but have found ways to pick themselves up and rise above their circumstances (and often their genes) to transform their own lives and those around them.
I have become aware that there are often similar key behaviors that set them apart from others.
They dedicate themselves to what gives their own life meaning and purpose.
Many people  don’t believe in meaning and purpose as something to pursue in their own life.  While others believe in a life purpose, but won’t take the risk to identify or honor it. Those with positive influence feel otherwise.
They have found that there is a purpose to their life and that purpose usually involves some aspect of turning their "gifts" into a message or using what they’ve learned (often the hard way) as a means of being of service to others.
People with a sense of purpose are driven, focused, committed, and light up a room.  They are unable to be deterred or distracted from what they believe is the reason they’re on this planet at this particular time. This sense of meaning and purpose gives them inexhaustible drive and offers guideposts to follow along the path.
They commit to continually bettering themselves.
People who impact the world for the better know that they are not perfect. They understand how their knowledge isn’t “complete.”  There are always going to be gaps, biases, limitations, and prejudices.  But... they keep at it anyway; they are inexhaustible!
People who positively shape the world come from a “beginner’s mind” and a loving, compassionate heart — with an openness to see, learn, and experience new things on the way to being a better "servant" to others.
 They engage with people in open and honest ways.
Those with huge positive influence understand the power of relationships, connection, and engaging with the world openly. They’re not afraid to get “out there”  connecting with others, sharing their knowledge and talents, offering their authentic and often contrary viewpoints and opinions.  They know that positive, supportive, and authentic relationships are the necessary building blocks to anything and everything they want to achieve.
 They invest time and energy not in what is "wrong," but rather in what "can be."
The people I’ve  interviewed who’ve made a positive impact on Society, don’t settle for conformity. When they see something that agitates and disturbs them, they strive to know more, get to the root of the issue, research and understand the contributing factors, and arrive at new solutions. They observe gaps and mistakes in common thinking and behavior and trust themselves in their belief that it’s time to push the boundaries of what’s accepted. They want to affect change because they believe change will bring a better way to live.
They spread what they know.
We’ve all met  “experts” who keep their knowledge secret, close to the vest. They’re afraid to let it out for fear someone will steal it or make money on their ideas. This is the opposite of the positive influencer’s mindset. Those who make a true positive difference can’t help but share and teach what they’ve learned. They don’t see their knowledge as just some commodity to sell... they see it as information that has to be shared with the world for its betterment.  They live the universal principle: “The more you give, the more you get.”
 They use their power and influence well.
Sadly, it’s a common occurrence in the world... and Politics of late... to witness power and influence being wielded as a weapon. It hurts and destroys. Positive influencers use their power well and wisely. Those who impact the world for the better are careful and wise with their words, actions, and behaviors. They operate with open heart and care deeply about their leadership, communication,  and the influence they have on others. They take it seriously, as a special honor and responsibility not to be flaunted or misused. They understand their special role, and accept it with grace, compassion, and care.
Here's to all of us changing the world for the better.  No task is too small.

Doing Unto Others...

It is often difficult to think about talking or writing to others in a purely "self-less" context.

We often have our own agenda when we interact with someone on the phone, by writing, or even in person. Questions of our own interest and intent often get in the way of a more honest and realistic interaction. It is easy to forget that when we deal with someone, one-on-one, we might be doing so not only for ourselves, but for someone else as well. Often we are not only a necessary link in communication with that person, but the only link. If this is the case, we need to be a strong connection, not a weak one.

Also, make a point of "telling" someone something...only if they will feel better from the new information being offered to them. Do not tell someone a bit of information to make yourself feel better! That's the opposite of "self-less." You might feel "unburdened" but it is only because you have now loaded them down with the negativity and hurt. Today, ask someone something personal about themselves; this will make them feel as if they are more than a colleague, neighbor, or even a taken for granted relative. It will make them realize that they matter... to you... in more than their "designated" role.

It's just a wonderful practice to really follow the Biblical wisdom of: Treat/speak to people as you would want others to speak/treat you. If we don't like something done/said in our own lives; it's our choice to make the effort to change ...or not. We are never defined by negative actions directed toward us; we are what we choose for ourselves.    I really like that choice.

Frustrations and Setbacks

Sometimes, we think we are making progress on a personal, professional, or social situation... only to suffer a setback. Although, the events of the setback, seem almost tragic at the time, they are merely bumps in the road to our "perfected self." Afterall, we are only passing through Earth on our way to Eternity. This thought gives me the courage to plod on...following my own path.

Someone might intentionally be negative or hurtful to us
. Maybe we are demoted at work or even lose employment. Sometimes, a loved one tells us that they no longer are "in love" with us...or even worse...have betrayed us with infidelity. And how often have we all had to actually hear things about ourselves that we knew to be false? How do we react; how do we deal? It is not always easy, but I suggest taking the higher road.

This does not mean that you don't react at all... and just walk away without efforts to understand or correct the situation at the time. However, it must be done with Honor and with Integrity. Do not retaliate with nasty words or hasty deeds. It brings nothing if not more hurt. Ultimately, the opposer will forget the incident and you will carry the burden of guilt in how poorly you handled the test/challenge as it was presented to you by God.

What helps me with negative situations is to ask myself: "Is this the worst thing that has ever happened to me?" "When I'm done here with my time on Earth... how much will this test/challenge mean?" "Does this define who I am as a person?" Even the most heartfelt attempts to correct a wrong are not always successful. That makes me see things more clearly. Life isn't meant to be easy.
Sue

Kindred Spirits: no anger; just acceptance!

A few months ago, on 20/20 on ABC , I watched the story of an amazing young girl, who confirmed my belief that we can indeed overcome great tests and challenges with positive attitude and our own healing energy.

Brittney Bergeron (Himmel), now sixteen, survived the unthinkable in 2003. At the young age of ten, she was left home alone to care for not only herself, but her three year old sister as well. Her mother and father struggled with their own demons of drugs and alcohol and for several years Brittney had been bounced back and forth between them. At best, her home life was unstable.

She was then, living in a trailer park some 80 miles outside of Las Vegas. The ten year old, Brittney, and three year old “Sissy” were left alone while their mother and new boyfriend gambled at a nearby hotel. This very act is Child Abuse and reckless endangerment of children. AND…the worst did happen; it always does. While the young girls were alone, two teens from the area, a brother and sister, themselves from a troubled home…broke into the trailer and brutally attacked both girls. They had been dupped in a drug deal by Brittney’s mother and were seeking revenge. They found it!

Both girls were stabbed with a butcher knife repeatedly. The three year old died in the hospital, but Brittney survived. She was paralyzed from the waist down and for the past six years has been in a wheelchair. But, this is when “… my life got good” she amazingly says.

With her mother in jail, Brittney was placed in a foster home. It was here, although confined to a wheelchair, that with love and caring from exceptional people, the Himmels, she started to heal. It mattered little to her that she could not walk like most young girls…what mattered most was that she was LOVED and cared for. Case positive that all things are relative in life. For a normal child, from a normal home…paralysis would have sent the entire family into a tailspin.

The Himmels, who had long cared for children with “special needs” saw this as nothing out of the ordinary. They encouraged Brittney to participate in wheelchair athletics. Instead of feeling sorry for herself, this young girl felt the need to make not only the Himmels proud, but herself as well. Recently, Brittney was adopted by the Himmels after years and years of her birth mother fighting the adoption.

Brittney Bergeron Himmel is an amazing example of honor and positive, self- healing energy. She gives honor not only to herself , but to all who are challenged physically. Integrity is hers by the mere fact she is not wallowing in self pity. What this young woman seems to grasp…is that she is not “dead” like her sister killed that fateful night…but alive. LIFE, that is the gift; the tests and challenges, even Childhood Abuse…they are all relative.

The journey is the destination. Live it well and heal.
Sue

Once again...MySpace and Facebook: often unhealthy!

STILL...the following article gets so many "hits" on my Blog... it's important to include it here as well for a time. Children and young people are too often abused by adults, that is a given, but often they take on the "abuse" themselves in their MySpace and Facebook use. If this hits home, in any fashion...please read on:

I often wonder how many of us would have become better people or have accomplished more with our lives if we had "walked away" from things that were unhealthy. There are so many things that are "unhealthy" for us, that I believe we are not even aware of the long term repercussions, until it's too late to make corrections. The Internet provides the new positive as well as the new unhealthy.

For some of the best years of my life, I have taught young people. Although it appeared that I was an English teacher/professor...what I really taught was about LIFE! My message was not subtle; I am not a subtle person. Life is hard and it requires a steady course to overcome our individual tests and limitations. As of late, I am so angered and disappointed by what I see posted by so many young people on Facebook and MySpace. What you put on today, you own forever. Forever!

Not only are things being said/done that can never be erased, (once it is on the Internet it can be "recalled" for eternity...I need to repeat that ), but there seems to be great delight in "shocking" the viewers/readers. You know, EVERYONE can see those postings, right? Family, employers, teachers...everyone. I see it as a call for help from the younger generations. In its basic form, it is too often desperation to be noticed...if even in a negative way.

When a young person blatantly acts out in words/deeds...they are in trouble and need guidance. I know this from experience and personal involvement. Excessive drinking and drugs, posing nearly nude or in suggestive sexual positions, excessive self -mutilation (be it piercing or body art ), and words/deeds that hurt others are...never signs of a healthy young person. When it is posted for the world to see you open yourself up to all kinds of future liability, criticism, and heartache. Sadly, you are abusing yourself. I can't view it any other way.

I get that all young people test and act out. However, excessive testing and acting out and then "posting" it on line for the world to see... has dangerous and long lasting repercussions. Even if your site is marked "private" one of your less scrupulous contacts has theirs wide-open for the world to see and read. Your "privacy" is their fodder. Duh!

If you are someone with a healthy self-image, you don't need approval or validation from anyone else as to how "cool" you are. You give yourself honor and integrity by doing good things for yourself and giving generously to others. Over drinking/ doing drugs, body parts with excessive art(?), eating disorders (too much or too little food; it doesn't matter), or beating up on others physically or verbally are just scabs on the wounds that will never heal.

Do something that you can be proud of and then post it on-line. The world is watching. You will be pleased not only today, but five and ten years from now as well. If you are in an unhealthy "space" it stops today. If you need help, ask for it! You have that choice. Pretty amazing to be human. However, do it so you can "face" your choices with pride down the road.

Sue

Leaving the Comfort Zone

Not too long ago I wrote about "Integrity" one of my own personal choices in life. Although I take a great deal of "heat" in doing so sometimes...I make the choice of handling issues in my life with Integrity: you know, making the right choice in spite of the outcome. That involves telling the truth. Sometimes, these "truths" are said to others... even when they might not be welcome at the time. When one chooses not to address a wrong, especially if it affects others negatively, to me that's prideful. It's the easy way out and it's the path of least resistance. I believe it translates that you care for your own well-being more than the well-being of others. That, to me, lacks integrity. With this choice, we are more concerned with being "liked" than trying to right a wrong that is clearly evident and hurtful to others. True, when we make the attempt to correct a wrong...we usually ruffle some feathers. We have to actively step out of our own comfort zone and approach someone who has been safely "existing" (perhaps not even living) in his/her comfort zone. It's difficult to address someone about his/her negative choices in life that affects others. But it can be done. It's called LOVE. sue
Posted by sue at 9:05 AM

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