WE CAN, WE WILL, WE MUST... CHANGE THINGS FOR THE BETTER!

IMPACT THE WORLD... MAKE A DIFFERENCE!

   Look around you and you’ll see three kinds of people. There are those who hate their life and work, and complain bitterly, those who just tolerate their life and work and see it as their "lot in life," and finally, those who love their life and work, and relish it. That's because it's their "life's-work."  The third category is a small subset of all professionals world-wide, but this group stands out because these are often the people who change the world for the better. They never stop trying to improve the lives of others... no matter how small the change.

   In my work as a writer, I’ve had the opportunity to connect with people who’ve made a true and measurable impact in the world. Each and every time I have met and written about them, it has been an honor. However, among this group of what I shall call "influencers" there are also many everyday people who have found a special niche in which they’ve contributed at the highest level. It’s critical to note that people who’ve made a real difference aren’t all privileged, advantaged or “special” by any stretch. Many come from disadvantaged families, crushing circumstances, and initially limited capabilities, but have found ways to pick themselves up and rise above their circumstances (and often their genes) to transform their own lives and those around them. I have become aware that there are often similar key behaviors that set them apart from others. They dedicate themselves to what gives their own life meaning and purpose.

   Many people don’t believe in meaning and purpose as something to pursue in their own life. While others believe in a life purpose, but won’t take the risk to identify or honor it. Those with positive influence feel otherwise. They have found that there is a purpose to their life and that purpose usually involves some aspect of turning their "gifts" into a message or using what they’ve learned (often the hard way) as a means of being of service to others. People with a sense of purpose are driven, focused, committed, and light up a room. They are unable to be deterred or distracted from what they believe is the reason they’re on this planet at this particular time. This sense of meaning and purpose gives them inexhaustible drive and offers guideposts to follow along the path. They commit to continually bettering themselves.

  People who impact the world for the better know that they are not perfect. They understand how their knowledge isn’t “complete.” There are always going to be gaps, biases, limitations, and prejudices. But... they keep at it anyway; they are inexhaustible!

People who positively shape the world come from a “beginner’s mind” and a loving, compassionate heart — with an openness to see, learn, and experience new things on the way to being a better "servant" to others. They engage with people in open and honest ways.

Those with huge positive influence understand the power of relationships, connection, and engaging with the world openly. They’re not afraid to get “out there” connecting with others, sharing their knowledge and talents, offering their authentic and often contrary viewpoints and opinions. They know that positive, supportive, and authentic relationships are the necessary building blocks to anything and everything they want to achieve. They invest time and energy not in what is "wrong," but rather in what "can be."

The people I’ve interviewed who’ve made a positive impact on Society, don’t settle for conformity. When they see something that agitates and disturbs them, they strive to know more, get to the root of the issue, research and understand the contributing factors, and arrive at new solutions. They observe gaps and mistakes in common thinking and behavior and trust themselves in their belief that it’s time to push the boundaries of what’s accepted. They want to affect change because they believe change will bring a better way to live. They spread what they know.

We’ve all met “experts” who keep their knowledge secret, close to the vest. They’re afraid to let it out for fear someone will steal it or make money on their ideas. This is the opposite of the positive influencer’s mindset. Those who make a true positive difference can’t help but share and teach what they’ve learned. They don’t see their knowledge as just some commodity to sell... they see it as information that has to be shared with the world for its betterment. They live the universal principle: “The more you give, the more you get.” They use their power and influence well.

Sadly, it’s a common occurrence in the world... and Politics of late... to witness power and influence being wielded as a weapon. It hurts and destroys. Positive influencers use their power well and wisely. Those who impact the world for the better are careful and wise with their words, actions, and behaviors. They operate with open heart and care deeply about their leadership, communication, and the influence they have on others. They take it seriously, as a special honor and responsibility not to be flaunted or misused. They understand their special role, and accept it with grace, compassion, and care.

Here's to all of us changing the world for the better. No task is too small.

ACQUIRING the GIFT of HAPPINESS... all on our own!

As a writer of a POSITIVE LIFE BLOG… SPIRIT UNBROKEN, I am often asked... how others, (my readers),  can become “happier” in their own lives. I will share things that I have said “yes” to and that has helped me to become happier in my own life.

Just by picking a few of these ideas, you too will be on the track to being more content and happier overall. I do not have all the answers, but as I age and look back on my own wins vs. losses... things become clearer and worth passing along.

Being Imperfect

Trying to be perfect is setting the bar too high. It will be impossible to reach and ultimately lowers your self-esteem. You may not feel very happy about how things are going in your life even though they might be going very well indeed. “Perfectionism” for yourself eats at you and your happiness. Embrace your own imperfectness.

Believing in perfection 

Often we actually believe what we see about relationships and families by watching “perfect families” and “how love should be” on television and in the movies. It looks so good and wonderful and you want it for yourself. Best-selling authors capitalize on this formula over and over again. However, in real life, it clashes with reality and it can harm or possibly lead you to end relationships, jobs, projects, etc. just because your expectations are fiction. It is very useful to remind yourself: No one has it all in spite of outer appearance! I know this for a fact.

Go for good 

Aiming for “perfection” usually winds up in a project or something else progressing very slowly or never being finished at all. Perhaps, go for good instead. Warning: Don’t use "good" as an excuse to slack off. Simply realize that there is something called “good” and even “very good” and that’s not a bad thing.

Being Yourself

Not being able to be yourself, always trying to change for others, or censoring yourself doesn’t feel good at all. It makes life feel so small and limited.  Spend more time with the people who support your dreams, values, and you as a person. Or at least people who are not antagonistic and negative. Try spending less time with people who normally criticize you.

Supportive and life-expanding experiences

 Change your environment from time to time. Go further and spend more time with sources of information that support your dreams and can give you information that expands and makes your life happier. Accordingly, spend less time with negative and limiting influences.

Things you like

It is important to find some time and energy for the things that make you come alive.
Mix it up. Try something new, even if it is just something small, each week. Eat a vegetarian dish at lunch if you always eat meat. Listen to some music that isn’t your norm. Go out to a movie, café, or pub with friends if you usually stay in at night. Perhaps it’s the other way around. If you are someone who surrounds themselves with others, try spending quality time… alone. Create variation and expand your comfort zone regularly in small ways, is key to living a happier life. Boredom creates contempt.

Reconnect

If you used to go fishing, paint, or play the guitar and it really made you come alive… then discover it again. Use an hour for it this week and see if it still brings you joy and makes you come alive.
Be Optimistic
Pessimism can really limit your life and bring it to a standstill. It can make it feel like there’s no point in trying because it won’t make a difference or you’ll just fail. It can create ceilings and walls made out of glass where there really are none.
Ask questions. When you’re in what seems like a negative situation, then make something better out of it by asking yourself questions that promote optimism and helps you to find solutions. For example: What is one thing that is positive or good about this situation? Or what is the opportunity within this situation?
Start off positive. Good influences in your life can make a huge difference. Therefore, start your day off with positive things. A good breakfast, a form of exercise you enjoy, reading or praying if only for a short time. You get the idea!

Forgiveness

Forgiving is not always easy and can take time, but there are some things that can make it a little easier.
You forgive for you. As long as you don’t forgive someone you are forever linked to that person. Your thoughts will return to the person who wronged you and what he or she did…. over and over again. The emotional link between the two of you is so strong and inflicts much suffering in you and, as a result of your inner turmoil, and often in other people around you too. When you forgive, you release yourself.
Make a habit of forgiving yourself. Do not just forgive others, but also yourself. By forgiving yourself – instead of resenting yourself for something you did a week or years ago, you make the habit of forgiveness more and more of a natural part of you. And so forgiving others becomes easier too.

Don’t just take the word “happy” for granted.  Live it, practice it, and you too shall become it.     HAPPY… in life, work, and relationships.

A HUMAN'S PURPOSE aka JOURNEY

When a long journey begins, or when a quest is undertaken, be it a pilgrimage of  Spirit or an ambition, desire, or hope... there is the excitement at the beginning… because the unknown still lies before us. But at some stage, we tire. The terrain can become unfamiliar. Issues arise, challenges greet us, and at this point, too many feel that this must not be meant to be – for we have told ourself that if it is truly meant to be, it will be easy. This is not always the case. Rarely, is LIFE easy.

It appears to be, for all, in both the seen and unseen worlds, there are parts of the "great journey" that require: stamina, courage, and endurance – our ability to commit, and to stay with the task until we have made it.  Do not enter into challenges lightly – enter into them, if at all, wholeheartedly.

Without what we describe as "a challenge," there will be no growth. If we work through the challenges, we will emerge stronger, and then be more able to realize the next dream. If we run at the first sign of difficulty, we will never forget it; it will be considered a personal failure.  Perhaps, the time has come in life and work for us to build up your endurance. Commit. Practice. Train! No matter what the goal... give it our all. That's endurance of thought, word, or deed.

We may believe we are weak mentally or physically unable to complete a task. We may be committed to believing that there is no way our "strength" can increase. It is usually not about our physicality – so often, it is the amazing endurance of Spirit and Soul. Our creative force requires the ability to go that little bit further, to reach a little higher, to extend ourselves, to go well beyond our individual comfort zones.

The second part of our strength is preparing ourself and strength will come through, just at the point we are ready to give up. Keep going. And we can go so much further than we believe we can! This is not the time to turn back or to allow the challenges/ tests to take us.

This is the time to continue the journey you committed to – because you are being tested and you can pass this test. But you must keep going. Eyes forward. Intention focused. Purpose clear!

PEOPLE WHO CHANGE THE WORLD; WHICH ONE ARE YOU

Look around you and you’ll see three kinds of people.  There are those who hate their life and work, and complain bitterly, those who just tolerate their life and work and see it as their "lot in life," and finally, those who love their life and work, and relish it. That's because it's their "life's-work."  The third category is a small subset of all professionals world-wide, but this group stands out because these are often the people who change the world for the better.  They never stop trying to improve the lives of others... no matter how small the change.

In my work as a writer, I’ve had the opportunity to connect with people who’ve made a true and measurable impact in the world.  Each and every time I have met and written about them, it has been an honor.  However, among this group of what I shall call "influencers" there are also many everyday people who have found a special niche in which they’ve contributed at the highest level.

It’s critical to note that people who’ve made a real difference aren’t all privileged, advantaged or “special” by any stretch.  Many come from disadvantaged families, crushing circumstances and initially limited capabilities, but have found ways to pick themselves up and rise above their circumstances (and often their genes) to transform their own lives and those around them.

I have become aware that there are often similar key behaviors that set them apart from others.

They dedicate themselves to what gives their own life meaning and purpose.

Many people  don’t believe in meaning and purpose as something to pursue in their own life.  While others believe in a life purpose, but won’t take the risk to identify or honor it. Those with positive influence feel otherwise.

They have found that there is a purpose to their life and that purpose usually involves some aspect of turning their "gifts" into a message or using what they’ve learned (often the hard way) as a means of being of service to others.

People with a sense of purpose are driven, focused, committed, and light up a room.  They are unable to be deterred or distracted from what they believe is the reason they’re on this planet at this particular time. This sense of meaning and purpose gives them inexhaustible drive and offers guideposts to follow along the path.

They commit to continually bettering themselves.

People who impact the world for the better know that they are not perfect. They understand how their knowledge isn’t “complete.”  There are always going to be gaps, biases, limitations, and prejudices.  But... they keep at it anyway; they are inexhaustible!

People who positively shape the world come from a “beginner’s mind” and a loving, compassionate heart — with an openness to see, learn, and experience new things on the way to being a better "servant" to others.

 They engage with people in open and honest ways.

Those with huge positive influence understand the power of relationships, connection, and engaging with the world openly. They’re not afraid to get “out there”  connecting with others, sharing their knowledge and talents, offering their authentic and often contrary viewpoints and opinions.  They know that positive, supportive, and authentic relationships are the necessary building blocks to anything and everything they want to achieve.

 They invest time and energy not in what is "wrong," but rather in what "can be."

The people I’ve  interviewed who’ve made a positive impact on Society, don’t settle for conformity. When they see something that agitates and disturbs them, they strive to know more, get to the root of the issue, research and understand the contributing factors, and arrive at new solutions. They observe gaps and mistakes in common thinking and behavior and trust themselves in their belief that it’s time to push the boundaries of what’s accepted. They want to affect change because they believe change will bring a better way to live.

They spread what they know.

We’ve all met  “experts” who keep their knowledge secret, close to the vest. They’re afraid to let it out for fear someone will steal it or make money on their ideas. This is the opposite of the positive influencer’s mindset. Those who make a true positive difference can’t help but share and teach what they’ve learned. They don’t see their knowledge as just some commodity to sell... they see it as information that has to be shared with the world for its betterment.  They live the universal principle: “The more you give, the more you get.”

 They use their power and influence well.

Sadly, it’s a common occurrence in the world... and Politics of late... to witness power and influence being wielded as a weapon. It hurts and destroys. Positive influencers use their power well and wisely. Those who impact the world for the better are careful and wise with their words, actions, and behaviors. They operate with open heart and care deeply about their leadership, communication,  and the influence they have on others. They take it seriously, as a special honor and responsibility not to be flaunted or misused. They understand their special role, and accept it with grace, compassion, and care.

Here's to all of us changing the world for the better.  No task is too small.

AN EXAMPLE TO FOLLOW... for ALL!

Kindred Spirits: no anger; just acceptance!

A time ago, (I have never forgotten this story),  on 20/20 ( ABC ), I watched the story of an amazing young girl, who confirmed my belief that we can indeed overcome great tests and challenges with positive attitude and our own healing energy.  

Brittney Bergeron (Himmel),then sixteen, survived the unthinkable in 2003. At the young age of ten, she was left home alone to care for not only herself, but her three year old sister as well. Her mother and father struggled with their own demons of drugs and alcohol and for several years Brittney had been bounced back and forth between them. At best, her home life was unstable. 

She was then, living in a trailer park some 80 miles outside of Las Vegas. The ten year old, Brittney, and three year old “Sissy” were left alone while their mother and new boyfriend gambled at a nearby hotel. This very act is Child Abuse and reckless endangerment of children. AND…the worst did happen; it always does. While the young girls were alone, two teens from the area, a brother and sister, themselves from a troubled home…broke into the trailer and brutally attacked both girls. They had been dupped in a drug deal by Brittney’s mother and were seeking revenge. They found it!

Both girls were stabbed with a butcher knife repeatedly. The three year old died in the hospital, but Brittney survived. She was paralyzed from the waist down and then for the next six years was in a wheelchair. But, this is when “… my life got good” she amazingly said.

With her mother in jail, Brittney was placed in a foster home. It was here, although confined to a wheelchair, that with love and caring from exceptional people, the Himmels, she started to heal. It mattered little to her that she could not walk like most young girls…what mattered most was that she was LOVED and cared for. Case positive that all things are relative in life. For a normal child, from a normal home…paralysis would have sent the entire family into a tailspin.

The Himmels, who had long cared for children with “special needs” saw this as nothing out of the ordinary. They encouraged Brittney to participate in wheelchair athletics. Instead of feeling sorry for herself, this young girl felt the need to make not only the Himmels proud, but herself as well. Recently, Brittney was adopted by the Himmels after years and years of her birth mother fighting the adoption. 

Brittney Bergeron Himmel is an amazing example of honor and positive, self- healing energy. She gives honor not only to herself , but to all who are challenged physically. Integrity is hers by the mere fact she is not wallowing in self pity. What this young woman seems to grasp…is that she is not “dead” like her younger sister killed that fateful night…but alive. LIFE, that is the gift; the tests and challenges, even Childhood Abuse…they are all relative. 

The journey is the destination. Live it well and heal. 

BLAMING OTHERS is not the answer in 2019!

Over the years, I have tried to either loose or correct my own short-comings.  It is a work in progress.  However, each time I am disappointed, scared, or worried... I revert back to old habits.  WHY?  I recently realized it is because I think (believe) that others are responsible, (and sometimes affecting) the WHO, WHAT, and WHY of my existence.  Age has brought me to a new place.  I share it with all.

It is so easy in life to forget that we are responsible for our own success, happiness, and inner-peace. It is often easier to blame others than to own up to our personal failures. Many people I speak with have difficulty in this area. It is always someone else's fault that they didn't get the promotion. It is because of a difficult childhood (past or present)that they are unhappy or not accomplishing what God put them on Earth to accomplish. Or...the most powerful to overcome is a lack of inner-peace. Often, this lack consumes all energies and thought. "Why can't I be happy?" The answer is rather straight forward and so simple that it might elude us at first.

We give happiness to ourselves by accepting equal amounts of credit for a job well done and at the same time, owning up to human errors in judgement and personal failure. It is not necessary to be perfect, but what is necessary is to step up to the plate and accept responsibility for our actions and place in life. If we are not happy where we are in life, who we have become, and what we are doing...we need to change...not the world around us.

Be pro-active in these areas and success, happiness, and inner-peace will follow.

CHOOSING TO BE A PERSON OF SUBSTANCE!

When I think about where I have been in life and where I still have to go, I get nervous. Have I done enough? It is not exactly clear to me when I realized that my life here on Earth had an actual purpose, but it became clear to me that it does. The path that I have been following for many years, even if I didn’t recognize it, is to make the world a softer, kinder, and gentler place. A person of substance is what I try to be.  I repeat… try.

It is apparent to others how much I “love” people. I really do. It is one of my many Blessings that I have been given during my life and one beyond compare. 

How is it possible that one whom had minimal affection/love as a child grows up to be caring and compassionate? Perhaps, it was acquired over time, but what I know clearly is that people react to kindness and caring.  Is it possible that this fact is so often overlooked?

Then one day, I got it! Most important to others is that we be a man or woman of substance. What exactly is that? Paraphrasing the definition:

“A person of substance is someone who strives to live a life that means something and who chooses to participate rather than be a spectator in life in order to be part of the solution as opposed to the problem.”

But what would make us actively participate and try to seek new roads? Initially, we need to find a cause outside of our own being. For some, that’s uncomfortable. While it is natural and accepted that we humans are self-absorbed and often self-centered… a cause that benefits just one person and would hardly make a dent on the significance scale. That’s according to some people; I disagree. No cause is too small. Doing something for the greater good means to pursue causes that:

• Make the world a better place
• Increase the quality of life for others
• Right a wrong
• Prevent the end of something good
• Initiate something good

Participation

Active participation requires courage and people of substance must have it! While the frail soul is safe from failure, they will never taste victory either. So, people of substance take risks. They try and they fail, but they never grow weary of trying. U.S President Teddy Roosevelt said:

     “The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasm, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

People of substance take responsibility for their actions successful or not. They wholeheartedly put themselves at the center of the action and fully accept whatever the consequences that the action may bring.

Solutions

People of substance know that there is no middle/neutral position on anything. They identify with the belief that, “If you are not part of the solution, then you are part of the problem.” Similar to wants outnumbering means, problems outnumber solutions and real problem solvers in life are few and far between.

Good problem solving between competing interests typically requires a person of integrity with complete objectivity and solid values. The solution seeking person of substance will have had significant experience in both the good and the bad.

They will have “met with triumph and disaster and have treated those just the same” as the IF poem, by Rudyard Kipling, so accurately says. No doubt they will have lived an experience rich, full, and varied life. Choosing to experience life outside of our comfort zone in order to gain life experiences that can be used in solving problems would appear to be another action that would lead to becoming a person of substance. Sometimes, it is hard.

Becoming

It appears to me that becoming anything involves a series of decisions followed by necessary actions. Becoming a person of substance is no different. It starts for all of us the same:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less travelled by,

And that has made all the difference. (Robert Frost)

We each make hundreds of decisions each day. We choose between frivolous and important, between what’s best for us and what’s right, between short and long term betterment, between politeness and wholeheartedness, between apathy and commitment, between self-centered and the greater good, between avoiding and accepting responsibility, between risk avoidance and risk management, between a life of leisure and a life of challenge, between timidity and courage, and between deceit and integrity.

I believe the person of substance chooses the path less travelled… second option, at each and every divergence.   It is indeed the harder road, but one well worth it.

LEARNING TO LOVE LIFE

Life Lessons to Keep on Learning

There are so many great lessons in life.  I made a list  of the most important ones for me.  These “lessons”  have had a great impact in my own life thus far.  Read On!

1. We get treated in life the way we teach others to treat us.

You have no idea how true this is. It was us who allowed THEM at one point to start treating us the way they do and little by little we got into the mess we are right now, having to live with the consequences. Respect and love yourself and others will do the same.

2. There are no mistakes, only lessons we need to master.

The idea is for us to learn from everything and everyone, of course, if you want to, and if you don’t, well, your life will look at 40 the same way it did when you were 20 and at 60 the way it looked when you were 40, and so on.

3.  Forgiveness is a gift we give to ourselves.

 A lot of people think that the moment they decide to forgive somebody who once hurt them, the person who receives the forgiveness is the only one who will benefit from this kind gesture, but that’s not the case. I can tell you that the person who will benefit the most is the person who does the forgiving. Holding onto anger and resentment can do you no good; it’s like having a clenched fist 24/7.

4. What you resist persists… and what you focus on… expands.

We’re resisting change, we’re resisting our problems, resisting the weather, resisting our friends and family, resisting our responsibilities, our job, our boss… our lives. There are so many things we are resisting, not realizing that resistance will only make things worse. Carl Jung talks about this, warning us that what we resist not only will persist but will also grow in size.

5. Life is all about the journey and less about the destination.

 A lot of times we get so caught up in what we want to achieve, that perfect picture, that end result, that we forget to live and to really enjoy this journey called life. Now,you may want to take a deep cleansing breath, and allow yourself to be present in everything you do. Allow yourself to enjoy each second of your life; to observe the world around you; to observe the people that are present in your life and the beauty that is present within you and all around you, life in general.

6. People deserve a second chance.

The moment you forgive somebody, chances are that you will also give them a second chance, a chance to be near you, without trying to remind them of what they did to you, treating them not as they are, or as they once were, but rather as you want them to be. By doing this, you are also allowing them to grow and to become better and better every day. Your ego might tell you to “let these people go” but what does your heart tell you? We are all humans, we all make mistakes, and we all deserve a second chance.

7. If you don’t believe in yourself, nobody else will.

Don’t expect others to see gold where you can only see dust. If you don’t believe in yourself, if you don’t believe that you are a capable, a worthy human being, chances are that nobody will. You will act on that belief and people will treat you based on what you think about yourself, based on how you treat yourself and based on how you act and behave in the world.

8.  Our attitude towards LIFE will determine Life's attitude towards us.

If you think life is unfair, that bad things always happen to you, chances are that life will treat you unfairly, and you will always have many reasons to complain about. On the other hand, if you think life is a gift, a gift for you to enjoy, not to keep, that wonderful things always happen to you, that wonderful people are being drawn to you, life will give you all of those things and even more. Just how there is a law of gravity, there is also a law of attraction, and based on this law, you attract in your life that which you think about all day long, you attract that which you are, because you see, like attracts like.

9. If you love yourself, chances are  others will love you also.

It’s all about self love, it all starts with self love. If you don’t have love for yourself, how can you expect to get it from somebody else? Love yourself and others will love you also.

10. The world has plenty of information, but not enough inspiration.

If you think about it, now with the technological revolution, we get access to so much information. Let’s take for example a tiny chip. How much information can you store on it? Isn’t it incredible? We have more information than ever… but when it comes to inspiration (in- spirit) I would say that we have a deficit. We focus too much on the outside and not enough on the inside. We can’t seem to understand that it all starts from within. If the inside is a mess, the outside will also be a mess. Listen to your heart, listen to your intuition and know that: “The only real valuable thing is intuition.” Albert Einstein

11. The world won’t change if you don’t change.

You hear people all the time complaining about how crazy the world is and how they want it to change, but if you tell them to make the first step…: “What? Me? Do you think there is something wrong with me? I am perfect, there is nothing I need to change. These people are crazy and they need to change, not me! They are the ones who are destroying us all, not me… Those bastards!” 

You see,the outside world is a reflection of who we all are on the inside, and all this madness that is taking place around us, is a result of our collective consciousness, and unfortunately it’s a very polluted consciousness. It’s not just them, it’s us, us all. If we want the world to change, we have to start with ourselves, and trust me, there is something wrong with many of us. With you, with me, with he and she…

12. Loneliness is different from solitude.

There is a difference between being lonely and being in solitude. When you are in solitude, you take advantage of it to get in touch with you inner self, to meditate and to quiet your mind, and that constant need to be around others in order for you to no longer feel lonely, will disappear. Wayne Dyer talk about this in such a wonderful way, saying that we can never be lonely if we like the person we’re alone with. If you like yourself, if you have no problem with your own person, if you have accepted yourself completely, you will be content with having some quiet time, away from all the noise. You will feel happy when alone and also when surrounded by other people.

13. The more we express our attitude the more we have to be grateful for.

The law of Attraction works in all that is good and also in all that is bad, and it’s only up to us whether we choose to focus our attention on the negative or on the positive. Focus your attention on the many great things you have and you are grateful for, and you will see that the more you do that, the more reasons you will have to express your gratitude for.

14. Patience is a virtue.

In order for things to happen, in order for anything to happen, we need to be patient. We first plant the seed of greatness and then we wait for it to grow, we allow it to grow; we take care of it and we protect it. Great things take time and we need to learn how to give time, time. This is a hard one for me.

15.  Courage is not the absence of fear.

Fear, that crazy fear who won’t allow us to move forward, who won’t allow us to grow and transform our lives and of those around us will always be present in our lives. Even though many of us know that fear does not exist and that fear is only in our mind, we choose to be paralyzed by it and we choose to allow it to control our lives, our dreams, our goals and the level of our happiness.  Fear will be present whenever you want to stretch, whenever you want to get out of your comfort zone and whenever you want to do more, be more, have more. What we need to do is look beyond it,  and always be aware of the fact that most of the things we fear never happen, because

FEAR is  nothing more than… False Expectation… Appearing Real.

Life Lessons to Keep on Learning

There are so many great lessons in life.  I made a list  of the most important ones for me.  These “lessons”  have had a great impact in my own life thus far.  Read On!

1. We get treated in life the way we teach others to treat us.

You have no idea how true this is. It was us who allowed THEM at one point to start treating us the way they do and little by little we got into the mess we are right now, having to live with the consequences. Respect and love yourself and others will do the same.

2. There are no mistakes, only lessons we need to master.

The idea is for us to learn from everything and everyone, of course, if you want to, and if you don’t, well, your life will look at 40 the same way it did when you were 20 and at 60 the way it looked when you were 40, and so on.

3.  Forgiveness is a gift we give to ourselves.

 A lot of people think that the moment they decide to forgive somebody who once hurt them, the person who receives the forgiveness is the only one who will benefit from this kind gesture, but that’s not the case. I can tell you that the person who will benefit the most is the person who does the forgiving. Holding onto anger and resentment can do you no good; it’s like having a clenched fist 24/7.

4. What you resist persists… and what you focus on… expands.

We’re resisting change, we’re resisting our problems, resisting the weather, resisting our friends and family, resisting our responsibilities, our job, our boss… our lives. There are so many things we are resisting, not realizing that resistance will only make things worse. Carl Jung talks about this, warning us that what we resist not only will persist but will also grow in size.

5. Life is all about the journey and less about the destination.

 A lot of times we get so caught up in what we want to achieve, that perfect picture, that end result, that we forget to live and to really enjoy this journey called life. Now,you may want to take a deep cleansing breath, and allow yourself to be present in everything you do. Allow yourself to enjoy each second of your life; to observe the world around you; to observe the people that are present in your life and the beauty that is present within you and all around you, life in general.

6. People deserve a second chance.

The moment you forgive somebody, chances are that you will also give them a second chance, a chance to be near you, without trying to remind them of what they did to you, treating them not as they are, or as they once were, but rather as you want them to be. By doing this, you are also allowing them to grow and to become better and better every day. Your ego might tell you to “let these people go” but what does your heart tell you? We are all humans, we all make mistakes, and we all deserve a second chance.

7. If you don’t believe in yourself, nobody else will.

Don’t expect others to see gold where you can only see dust. If you don’t believe in yourself, if you don’t believe that you are a capable, a worthy human being, chances are that nobody will. You will act on that belief and people will treat you based on what you think about yourself, based on how you treat yourself and based on how you act and behave in the world.

8.  Our attitude towards LIFE will determine Life's attitude towards us.

If you think life is unfair, that bad things always happen to you, chances are that life will treat you unfairly, and you will always have many reasons to complain about. On the other hand, if you think life is a gift, a gift for you to enjoy, not to keep, that wonderful things always happen to you, that wonderful people are being drawn to you, life will give you all of those things and even more. Just how there is a law of gravity, there is also a law of attraction, and based on this law, you attract in your life that which you think about all day long, you attract that which you are, because you see, like attracts like.

9. If you love yourself, chances are  others will love you also.

It’s all about self love, it all starts with self love. If you don’t have love for yourself, how can you expect to get it from somebody else? Love yourself and others will love you also.

10. The world has plenty of information, but not enough inspiration.

If you think about it, now with the technological revolution, we get access to so much information. Let’s take for example a tiny chip. How much information can you store on it? Isn’t it incredible? We have more information than ever… but when it comes to inspiration (in- spirit) I would say that we have a deficit. We focus too much on the outside and not enough on the inside. We can’t seem to understand that it all starts from within. If the inside is a mess, the outside will also be a mess. Listen to your heart, listen to your intuition and know that: “The only real valuable thing is intuition.” Albert Einstein

11. The world won’t change if you don’t change.

You hear people all the time complaining about how crazy the world is and how they want it to change, but if you tell them to make the first step…: “What? Me? Do you think there is something wrong with me? I am perfect, there is nothing I need to change. These people are crazy and they need to change, not me! They are the ones who are destroying us all, not me… Those bastards!” 

You see,the outside world is a reflection of who we all are on the inside, and all this madness that is taking place around us, is a result of our collective consciousness, and unfortunately it’s a very polluted consciousness. It’s not just them, it’s us, us all. If we want the world to change, we have to start with ourselves, and trust me, there is something wrong with many of us. With you, with me, with he and she…

12. Loneliness is different from solitude.

There is a difference between being lonely and being in solitude. When you are in solitude, you take advantage of it to get in touch with you inner self, to meditate and to quiet your mind, and that constant need to be around others in order for you to no longer feel lonely, will disappear. Wayne Dyer talk about this in such a wonderful way, saying that we can never be lonely if we like the person we’re alone with. If you like yourself, if you have no problem with your own person, if you have accepted yourself completely, you will be content with having some quiet time, away from all the noise. You will feel happy when alone and also when surrounded by other people.

13. The more we express our attitude the more we have to be grateful for.

The law of Attraction works in all that is good and also in all that is bad, and it’s only up to us whether we choose to focus our attention on the negative or on the positive. Focus your attention on the many great things you have and you are grateful for, and you will see that the more you do that, the more reasons you will have to express your gratitude for.

14. Patience is a virtue.

In order for things to happen, in order for anything to happen, we need to be patient. We first plant the seed of greatness and then we wait for it to grow, we allow it to grow; we take care of it and we protect it. Great things take time and we need to learn how to give time, time. This is a hard one for me.

15.  Courage is not the absence of fear.

Fear, that crazy fear who won’t allow us to move forward, who won’t allow us to grow and transform our lives and of those around us will always be present in our lives. Even though many of us know that fear does not exist and that fear is only in our mind, we choose to be paralyzed by it and we choose to allow it to control our lives, our dreams, our goals and the level of our happiness.  Fear will be present whenever you want to stretch, whenever you want to get out of your comfort zone and whenever you want to do more, be more, have more. What we need to do is look beyond it,  and always be aware of the fact that most of the things we fear never happen, because

FEAR is  nothing more than… False Expectation… Appearing Real.

WHAT'S "TOO NICE" ANYWAY? I SAY: THERE'S NO SUCH THING!

     It started in my early years; most likely in grade school.  Often, I was told I was "too nice."  Perhaps, it was because I went home to conditions that were the farthest thing from "nice" and "normal." Even teachers would tell me that I was "too nice!"  I was the one who would pick the worst player... first... for the kickball team.  I wanted to be sure they knew that they wouldn't be left standing there at the end of choosing.  I was also the student who volunteered to stay after and clean the boards.  The truth was that I would do anything not to go home.

     Here's what I absolutely know about being "too nice," in my adult years. There is what others might say about being "too nice," but then there is my view...as always.

 People will see you as weak

     ... and take advantage of you. This first point is no shock. This is generally the rap against being too quick to put your own needs aside in favor of the needs of others and many, point out this danger.

 I say: You can never be too nice to others.  Do it without thinking.

 You forget to be nice to yourself

      This is also a problem with being "too nice," some might say/feel.  Also, it is often cited by experts on entrepreneurship. Being responsive is great for your business, but take your focus on meeting others' needs too far and... you'll end up with no time left over to work on your own priorities or the longer-term issues that are essential to your company. 

 I say:  Find the balance in life.  It is never: You vs Them, but rather... You and Them!

 You attract the wrong kind of people

     Kindness may be a prerequisite for healthy and meaningful relationships, but also an  inability to set boundaries. Being excessively nice... "you will start to attract needy, whiny, overly emotional, demanding/controlling people," say many experts. Again, I disagree.

I say:  You might be the only bright light in those peoples' days and actually improve immeasurably the quality of their lives and therefore improve everyone's day. Keep on! 

Folks might distrust you

    Let's face it, genuinely nice people aren't rare, but especially in some corners of the business and professional world, they're hardly in the majority either. This sad fact means that if you are truly nice, you're liable to be occasionally misunderstood and even viewed with suspicion.  People might believe that you have an ulterior motive in mind,  otherwise, why would you be doing all these special things? Just as there is no such thing as a free lunch, there can not, surely, be such a thing as "too nice for no reason."  Really?

I say: Prove them wrong!  Whether it's in life, business, and relationships...  always be "too nice."  Everyone benefits!

You will askew your own expectations of others

     If someone is too nice to people, they start expecting unreasonable amount of niceness from others as well. This always leads to the nice ones thinking others are being mean to them or taking them for granted.  I read this in articles and it always makes me smile. 
     My guess is that some people cannot handle this and when they talk about how they're nice to everyone while others take them for granted, they tend to sound very entitled.  (Maybe their niceness isn't genuine.)

I say: It doesn't matter if people are nice back to you.  What matters is that you are nice to them.  Expect nothing in return.

How do you strike a balance between compassion and kindness, and being "too nice"?

     Compassion and kindness are wonderful traits for people to have, but some times they are done for the wrong reason.  One should never show either to impress, gain respect, or to "show others up."  This applies to home, work, and any other public ventures.  As of late, we have seen this in Politics and it hasn't boded well with the masses.

I say: Always strive to be "too nice" and compassion and kindness will follow!

But here's a warning:  Never assume that someone is insecure, weak, or showing off if they are "too nice. "  Sometimes, they just are that... nice!