AN EXAMPLE TO FOLLOW... for ALL!

Kindred Spirits: no anger; just acceptance!

A time ago, (I have never forgotten this story),  on 20/20 ( ABC ), I watched the story of an amazing young girl, who confirmed my belief that we can indeed overcome great tests and challenges with positive attitude and our own healing energy.  

Brittney Bergeron (Himmel),then sixteen, survived the unthinkable in 2003. At the young age of ten, she was left home alone to care for not only herself, but her three year old sister as well. Her mother and father struggled with their own demons of drugs and alcohol and for several years Brittney had been bounced back and forth between them. At best, her home life was unstable. 

She was then, living in a trailer park some 80 miles outside of Las Vegas. The ten year old, Brittney, and three year old “Sissy” were left alone while their mother and new boyfriend gambled at a nearby hotel. This very act is Child Abuse and reckless endangerment of children. AND…the worst did happen; it always does. While the young girls were alone, two teens from the area, a brother and sister, themselves from a troubled home…broke into the trailer and brutally attacked both girls. They had been dupped in a drug deal by Brittney’s mother and were seeking revenge. They found it!

Both girls were stabbed with a butcher knife repeatedly. The three year old died in the hospital, but Brittney survived. She was paralyzed from the waist down and then for the next six years was in a wheelchair. But, this is when “… my life got good” she amazingly said.

With her mother in jail, Brittney was placed in a foster home. It was here, although confined to a wheelchair, that with love and caring from exceptional people, the Himmels, she started to heal. It mattered little to her that she could not walk like most young girls…what mattered most was that she was LOVED and cared for. Case positive that all things are relative in life. For a normal child, from a normal home…paralysis would have sent the entire family into a tailspin.

The Himmels, who had long cared for children with “special needs” saw this as nothing out of the ordinary. They encouraged Brittney to participate in wheelchair athletics. Instead of feeling sorry for herself, this young girl felt the need to make not only the Himmels proud, but herself as well. Recently, Brittney was adopted by the Himmels after years and years of her birth mother fighting the adoption. 

Brittney Bergeron Himmel is an amazing example of honor and positive, self- healing energy. She gives honor not only to herself , but to all who are challenged physically. Integrity is hers by the mere fact she is not wallowing in self pity. What this young woman seems to grasp…is that she is not “dead” like her younger sister killed that fateful night…but alive. LIFE, that is the gift; the tests and challenges, even Childhood Abuse…they are all relative. 

The journey is the destination. Live it well and heal. 

Positive Thinking, Even When You Don't Want To... WORKS!

When you become angry, your thoughts turn negative and as a result, your anger increases. Your negative thoughts keep that anger going.

So, try applying a little bit of positive thinking can help reduce or even eliminate that anger. Of course, this may not always be easy when you’re angry for a reason, but it is actually very simple. Positive thinking can really help you manage that anger and even get you into a much better mood.

Positive thinking can become habitual and turn into a way of life. I try to practice this even when things get overbearing.

It is very helpful in making you feel happier and better about yourself and your life. Many thoughts are naturally negative, but if you can retaliate against those negative thoughts with positive ones, it will greatly affect your overall wellness.

If you can start to change your thoughts now, it can also change how you think when you feel angry. Try thinking of positive aspects of your life, your body, your friends, your family, your job, and anything else you can think of. Consider everything and write down your positive thoughts.

If something happens and you feel angry, try reading over all that you have written down and and think on it.

Instead of negative thoughts or verbally snapping at another, you may be encouraged to write down your thoughts when you’re angry and keep a journal. Write it, forget it; say it, regret it!

After you’ve calmed down, it’s a good idea to read what you have written and then write down positive words to get your flow going back into a positive direction. Positive thinking can really help you if you believe that it will, but you have to try it! Then, track your results and as you see improvements you’ll start to believe in the power of positive thinking.

Stress is a major cause of anger. If you can learn to deal with your stress in a healthy way, you’ll be able to keep the anger away.

Try relaxing a little bit more and doing things that make you happy. If you love relaxing on the couch and watching a movie, make time to do that. If you love taking walks, then make that a priority. If you can learn to control your stress, do things you love, and be grateful for the good in your life, you will not feel as angry in those difficult times.

Learn how to be positive and apply positive thinking everyday: you’ll reap the rewards and enjoy life a lot more.
I am sure of it!

IMPACT THE WORLD; MAKE A DIFFERENCE!

Look around you and you’ll see three kinds of people. There are those who hate their life and work, and complain bitterly, those who just tolerate their life and work and see it as their "lot in life," and finally, those who love their life and work, and relish it. That's because it's their "life's-work." The third category is a small subset of all professionals world-wide, but this group stands out because these are often the people who change the world for the better. They never stop trying to improve the lives of others... no matter how small the change.

In my work as a writer, I’ve had the opportunity to connect with people who’ve made a true and measurable impact in the world. Each and every time I have met and written about them, it has been an honor. However, among this group of what I shall call "influencers" there are also many everyday people who have found a special niche in which they’ve contributed at the highest level. It’s critical to note that people who’ve made a real difference aren’t all privileged, advantaged or “special” by any stretch. Many come from disadvantaged families, crushing circumstances, and initially limited capabilities, but have found ways to pick themselves up and rise above their circumstances (and often their genes) to transform their own lives and those around them. I have become aware that there are often similar key behaviors that set them apart from others. They dedicate themselves to what gives their own life meaning and purpose.

Many people don’t believe in meaning and purpose as something to pursue in their own life. While others believe in a life purpose, but won’t take the risk to identify or honor it. Those with positive influence feel otherwise. They have found that there is a purpose to their life and that purpose usually involves some aspect of turning their "gifts" into a message or using what they’ve learned (often the hard way) as a means of being of service to others. People with a sense of purpose are driven, focused, committed, and light up a room. They are unable to be deterred or distracted from what they believe is the reason they’re on this planet at this particular time. This sense of meaning and purpose gives them inexhaustible drive and offers guideposts to follow along the path. They commit to continually bettering themselves.

People who impact the world for the better know that they are not perfect. They understand how their knowledge isn’t “complete.” There are always going to be gaps, biases, limitations, and prejudices. But... they keep at it anyway; they are inexhaustible! People who positively shape the world come from a “beginner’s mind” and a loving, compassionate heart — with an openness to see, learn, and experience new things on the way to being a better "servant" to others. They engage with people in open and honest ways.

Those with huge positive influence understand the power of relationships, connection, and engaging with the world openly. They’re not afraid to get “out there” connecting with others, sharing their knowledge and talents, offering their authentic and often contrary viewpoints and opinions. They know that positive, supportive, and authentic relationships are the necessary building blocks to anything and everything they want to achieve. They invest time and energy not in what is "wrong," but rather in what "can be."

The people I’ve interviewed who’ve made a positive impact on Society, don’t settle for conformity. When they see something that agitates and disturbs them, they strive to know more, get to the root of the issue, research and understand the contributing factors, and arrive at new solutions. They observe gaps and mistakes in common thinking and behavior and trust themselves in their belief that it’s time to push the boundaries of what’s accepted. They want to affect change because they believe change will bring a better way to live. They spread what they know.

We’ve all met “experts” who keep their knowledge secret, close to the vest. They’re afraid to let it out for fear someone will steal it or make money on their ideas. This is the opposite of the positive influencer’s mindset. Those who make a true positive difference can’t help but share and teach what they’ve learned. They don’t see their knowledge as just some commodity to sell... they see it as information that has to be shared with the world for its betterment. They live the universal principle: “The more you give, the more you get.” They use their power and influence well.
Sadly, it’s a common occurrence in the world... and Politics of late... to witness power and influence being wielded as a weapon. It hurts and destroys. Positive influencers use their power well and wisely. Those who impact the world for the better are careful and wise with their words, actions, and behaviors. They operate with open heart and care deeply about their leadership, communication, and the influence they have on others. They take it seriously, as a special honor and responsibility not to be flaunted or misused. They understand their special role, and accept it with grace, compassion, and care.

Here's to all of us changing the world for the better. No task is too small.

Be Good, Be Better, Be the Best!

Posted on January 3, 2018by Sue Brown

“The way to gain a good reputation is to endeavor to be what you desire to appear.” ~Socrates

I’ve stumbled upon countless blogs and books written by people who say their purpose in life is to help people.  This is my hope, as well.

“…it takes a better man to acknowledge goodness in others than it does to merely be good oneself. Anyone can criticize or accept praise, but initiating a positive exchange is a hallmark of a difference maker.”   Scott Berkun (Microsoft Exec).   Wow! Love this!

Still, I don’t know if it’s possible to completely relinquish ego, and I’m not sure if that’s such a bad thing. I suspect some of the people who invented or reinvented “big things” to bring safety to the scared, health to the sick, or opportunity to the poor were, at least on some level, driven by the desire to be remembered for making a difference.  Again, not so bad.

It’s human nature to want to make a difference and not just do good things, but also be known for them. There’s no need to vilify that type of desire when you consider it’s primal in all of us.  Survival of the Fittest, (thanks, Mother Nature), awards us that honor.

Much is uncertain in life, particularly what happens after we die. We can’t understand or control where we’re going, (my Faith is strong, yet I’m still afraid and I don’t think I’m alone there), but we can influence what we leave behind. Why feel guilty for natural human instincts… when those same instincts contribute to a lot of the good in the world?. We can do things both large and small, for others and ourselves, daily!

Here are some great ideas… gathered from numerous thoughts.

 Make a difference in yourself, for the better.   Such an inward difference always has rippling outward benefits.

 Remember there are three poisons: greed, anger, and ignorance.   Do not deny their existence, but rather turn them around and you have generosity, compassion, and wisdom.

 Make it a habit to respect everyone.  Enough said.

 Operate from a place of love.

 Be kind to others.  In this busy world people become self consumed and forget that kindness goes a long way.  I LOVE this one!

Talk to someone that you think might be in distress.  You may make the difference of a lifetime.

 Simply show up.  Just put your soul into it. If you show up physically with the soles of your feet, the heart, mind, and soul will have a chance to follow or catch up.

 Smile.

 Be the change you wish to see in the world!  Thanks, Mahatma.

 Listen. Give. Do.

Teach others by example.   Be caring, open minded, have good manners, and remember to smile.

Be a true you… positive energy attracts.

Love.

 Find someone that needs a smile and give them that smile.  Do this once a day for the rest of your life and like a ripple in a pond it will be carried onwards.

 Learn to be aware of all the wonder we have around us.   Let the past be in the past…  not part of the future.

      So, I ask very sincerely...

How are you making a difference in the world...    2018?                                                                       

A POLITICALLY CORRECT CHRISTMAS... UGH!

Twas the night before Christmas and Santa’s a wreck... 
how to live in a world that’s politically correct? 
His workers no longer would answer to “Elves,"
“Vertically Challenged” they were calling themselves. 
Labor conditions at the North Pole, 
were alleged by the union, to stifle the soul. 

Four reindeer had vanished without much propriety, 
released to the wilds, by the Humane Society. 
 Equal Employment had made it quite clear, that Santa had better not use just reindeer. 

Then Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid, 
were replaced with four pigs, and you know that was stupid! 

The metal runners had been removed from Santa's beautiful sleigh, 
because the ruts were deemed dangerous by the EPA, 
And millions of people were calling the Cops, 
when they heard sled noises upon their roof tops. 
Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened, 
and his real fur trimmed red suit was called “unenlightened." 

To show you the strangeness of today’s ebbs and flows, 
Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose. 
He went to Fox News, in front of the Nation, 
demanding millions in over-due workers compensation. 

So...half of the reindeer were gone, and then his wife 
 suddenly said she’d had enough of this life and
joined a self help group, packed, and left in a whiz, 
demanding from now on that her title was Ms. 

And as for gifts...why, he’d never had the notion 
that making a choice could cause such commotion. 
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur... 
Which meant nothing for him or nothing for her. 
Nothing to aim, nothing to shoot, 
nothing that clamored or made lots of noise. 
Nothing for just girls and nothing for just boys, 
nothing that claimed to be gender specific or
nothing that’s warlike or non-pacifistic. 

No candy or sweets...they were bad for the teeth. 
Nothing that seemed to embellish upon the truth. 
And fairy tales...while not yet forbidden, 
were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden, 
for they raised the hackles of those psychological, 
who claimed the only good gift was one ecological. 

No baseball, no football...someone might get hurt, 
besides - playing sports exposed kids to, ugh, dirt!
Dolls were said to be sexist and should be passe 
and video games would rot your  brain away. 

Poor Santa just stood there, disheveled and perplexed, 
he just couldn’t figure out what to do next? 
He tried to be merry he tried to be gay, 
but you must have to admit he was having a very bad day. 
His sack was quite empty, it was flat on the ground, 
nothing fully acceptable was anywhere to be found. 

Something special was needed, a gift that he might, 
give to us all, without angering the left... or the right. 
A gift that would satisfy - with no indecision, 
each group of people in every religion. 
Every race, every hue, 
everyone, everywhere...even you! 

So here is that gift, it’s price beyond worth... 
Couldn't we all use... Peace on Earth!

HAPPY IS AS HAPPY DOES!

 As a writer of a POSITIVE LIFE BLOG... SPIRIT UNBROKEN,  I am often asked how others, my readers, can become "happier" in their own lives.  In the next few weeks, I will share  things that I have said "yes" to and that have helped me to become happier in my own life.

Just by picking a few of these ideas, you too will be on the track to being more content and  happier overall.  I do not have all the answers, but as I age and look back on my own wins vs. losses things become clearer and worth passing along.

 Being Imperfect

Trying to be perfect is setting the bar too high. It will be impossible to reach and ultimately lowers your self-esteem. You may not feel very happy about how things are going in your life even though they might be going very well indeed. "Perfectionism" for yourself eats at you and your happiness. Embrace your own imperfectness.

• Believing in perfection      Often we actually believe what we see about relationships and families by watching "perfect families" and "how love should be" on television and in the movies. It looks so good and wonderful and you want it for yourself. Best selling authors capitalize on this formula over and over again.  However, in real life it clashes with reality and it can harm or possibly lead you to end relationships, jobs, projects etc. just because your expectations are fiction. It is very useful to remind yourself:  No one has it all in spite of outer appearance!  I know this for a fact.
• Go for good     Aiming for "perfection" usually winds up in a project or something else progressing very slowly or never being finished at all.  Perhaps, go for good instead. Warning: Don’t use good as an excuse to slack off.  Simply realize that there is something called "good" and even "very good" and that's not a bad thing .

 Being Yourself

Not being able to be yourself, always trying to change for others, or censoring yourself doesn't feel good at all. It makes life feel so small and limited.

• Supportive people.  Spend more time with the people who support your dreams, values, and you as a person. Or at least people who are not antagonistic and negative. Try spending less time with people who normally criticize you.
• Supportive and life-expanding experiences.   Change your environment from time to time.   Go further and spend more time with sources of information that support your dreams and can give you information that expands and makes your life happier. Accordingly, spend less time with negative and limiting influences.

Things you like

It is important to find some time and energy for the things that make you come alive.

• Mix it up.      Try something new, even if it is just something small, each week. Eat a vegetarian dish at lunch if you always eat meat. Listen to some music that isn’t your norm. Go out to a movie, café, or pub with friends if you usually stay in at night. Perhaps it's the other way around.  If you are someone who surrounds themselves with others, try spending quality time... alone.  Create variation and expand your comfort zone regularly in small ways,  is key to living a happier life. Boredom creates contempt.
• Reconnect.      If you used to go fishing, paint, or play the guitar and it really made you come alive... then discover it again. Use an hour for it this week and see if it still brings you joy and makes you come alive.

Be Optimistic

Pessimism can really limit your life and bring it to a standstill. It can make it feel like there’s no point in trying because it won’t make a difference or you’ll just fail. It can create ceilings and walls made out of glass where there really are none.

• Ask questions.     When you’re in what seems like a negative situation, then make something better out of it by asking yourself questions that promote optimism and helps you to find solutions. For example: What is one thing that is positive or good about this situation? Or what is the opportunity within this situation?
• Start off positive.      Good influences in your life can make a huge difference. Therefore, start your day off with positive things.  A good breakfast, a form of exercise you enjoy, reading or praying if only for a short time.  You get the idea!

Foregiveness

Forgiving is not always easy and can take time, but there are some things that can make it a little easier.

• You forgive for you.      As long as you don’t forgive someone you are forever linked to that person. Your thoughts will return to the person who wronged you and what he or she did.... over and over again. The emotional link between the two of you is so strong and inflicts  much suffering in you and, as a result of your inner turmoil,  and  often in other people around you too. When you forgive, you release yourself.
• Make a habit of forgiving yourself.      Do not just forgive others, but also yourself. By forgiving yourself – instead of resenting yourself for something you did a week or  years ago,  you make the habit of forgiveness more and more of a natural part of you. And so forgiving others becomes easier too.

     Don't just take the word "happy" for granted.  Live it, practice it, and you too shall become it.  HAPPY... in life, work, and relationships.

Child Abuse "Survivor" vs Child Abuse "Thriver"

When I am asked why I didn't refer to myself as a "survivor" in my book SPIRIT UNBROKEN which is about my own abusive childhood, the answer came easily to me. I believe that saying you are a "survivor" of any test or challenge in life is indicative that you are still living in its shadow. In addition, someone might even be using "survivor-ship" from the test/challenge as an excuse for his/her present life's situations and behavior. I see it over and over and it saddens me. From the moment our individual tests and challenges cease...and they always do or we no longer inhabit God's earth, we are not "survivors' but rather "livers." We might view our new life by being stronger, wiser, and more complete in our journey of perfecting ourselves here on Earth.

If you have been through something negative...be it a life threatening illness or challenge for yourself or family member, possible marital disillusionment, hurt, and betrayal... that might ultimately lead to a divorce, a deployment in one of America's Wars... that follows with a physical or emotional challenge, a loveless childhood/adulthood... that is riddled by abuse...when it ends, and it will, you must resume living with a renewed vigor. To claim you have "survived" something is indication that the test/challenge still is very much present in your head and heart. It's all in positive attitude and the honest acceptance that Life, as given, is not supposed to be easy. We "survive" only that we may live. Sue

Challenges that Change Us!

In life, we can not control what is done to us, but we always have a choice in how we react to those tests and challenges.

Choice is what separates humans from other mammals. Even if we fail with one test or challenge…a new one will come along in which we get to choose all over again. Perhaps, it is so we finally get it correct. Life, as given, isn’t always easy; it’s not supposed to be.Often, we do not especially like the choices as they are presented to us and sometimes they are even unfair…but they are choices nonetheless. It is empowering to know we have that ability. With each and every positive choice we make for ourselves and towards others we give ourselves integrity and honor. We further define who we are as Human Beings. Think of this in even greater terms.

All of us lost something this year. Unfortunately, so many lost employment, homes, and suffered financially in some way. It will be a time of recovery and plentiful new opportunities. Some of us lost our way in relationships, either at work or at home. It will be a period of reconciliation and hopefully, forgiveness.

And a few of us might even have slipped into areas of human weaknesses and perhaps hurt those we love most. Now, it will be a journey of great personal strength and courage moving forward in a healthy and positive way. Difficult situations in our own lives give us the opportunity to become not only stronger within ourselves, but more compassionate towards others, as well.

May we all use these lessons to improve who we are while here on Earth. Sue

Olympic Failures are Good Lessons for Life!

Limitations


I watched the Olympics last evening and saw a theme repeat itself several times over; it was hard to ignore. The predicted "favorite" fell short of expectations in several events and an athlete that was unexpected to "place" in the medals (Bronze Silver, or Gold) went on to score victory. I felt sad for the athletes who had trained so hard and so long who because of their own human error, Fate, or Divine Intervention went on to defeat. THEN, I got it!

It's like that for all of us. We are only defeated if we believe ourselves to be defeated. It's more about the place in our heads, hearts, and bodies from where we started our individual "race" and where we ultimately finish the "race" that really matters.

Did we come the distance and give it our full efforts in the process? Some of them did it with great dignity, and I fully admired that and others ended with despair...and I felt "sorry" for them.

Our individual sporting event is LIFE! And similar to the athletes in the Olympic Games we often are disappointed, dicouraged, and defeated. However, the outcome of each race and LIFE can be handled with dignity...or despair.

We can be either admired or pitied. It's pretty clear which is the better choice.

We Alone Are Responsible for Our Lives

It is so easy in life to forget that we are responsible for our own success, happiness, and inner-peace. It is often easier to blame others than to own up to our personal failures. Many people I speak with have difficulty in this area. It is always someone else's fault that they didn't get the promotion at work. It is because of a difficult childhood (past or present)that they are unhappy or not accomplishing what God put them on Earth to accomplish. Or...the most powerful to overcome is a lack of inner-peace. Often, this lack consumes all energies and thought. "Why can't I be happy?"

The answer is rather straight forward and so simple that it might elude us at first. We give happiness to ourselves by accepting equal amounts of credit for a job well done and at the same time, owning up to human errors in judgement and personal failure. Epiphany! It is not necessary to be perfect, but what is necessary is to step up to the plate and accept responsibility for our actions and place in life. If we are not happy where we are in life, who we have become, and what we are doing...we need to change...not the world around us. Be pro-active in these areas and success, happiness, and inner-peace will follow.

Amazing Grace.

Amazing... LIFE!

Today, I challenge everyone to look not at the negatives of their individual lives, but rather focus on a positive. It is virtually impossible not to find one good thing in even the most challenging of situations. Recently, I heard a St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital radio telethon on a local station. It was impossible not to detect thankfulness in parents’ voices for the care their child had received while at St. Jude. For those who do not know, this is a hospital that treats children with life threatening diseases and never, I repeat NEVER, turns away a child whose family is unable to afford the cost of the treatment. It is one of my personal favorite organizations for many reasons. But what hit me particularly hard was a parent, on air, who was saying that each and everytime they bring their young daughter there for Chemotherapy, when the treatment is over…she wants to stay and play…“because they are so nice there.” The child may or may not survive her ordeal, but both she and the parents seem to get that there is always a positive in even the toughest of circumstances. I admire them. Look at your own life. Find the celebration. sue