It is so easy in life to forget that we are responsible for our own success, happiness, and inner-peace. It is often easier to blame others than to own up to our personal failures. Many people I speak with have difficulty in this area. It is always someone else's fault that they didn't get the promotion at work. It is because of a difficult childhood (past or present)that they are unhappy or not accomplishing what God put them on Earth to accomplish. Or...the most powerful to overcome is a lack of inner-peace. Often, this lack consumes all energies and thought. "Why can't I be happy?"
The answer is rather straight forward and so simple that it might elude us at first. We give happiness to ourselves by accepting equal amounts of credit for a job well done and at the same time, owning up to human errors in judgement and personal failure. Epiphany! It is not necessary to be perfect, but what is necessary is to step up to the plate and accept responsibility for our actions and place in life. If we are not happy where we are in life, who we have become, and what we are doing...we need to change...not the world around us. Be pro-active in these areas and success, happiness, and inner-peace will follow.
Amazing Grace.
SPIRIT UNBROKEN A Journey of Hope, Survival, and Beating the Odds
Thanks for making the Weekly Wordpress Blog a world-wide read. It is an honor.
Please keep following. Sue
Please keep following. Sue
Frustrations and Setbacks
Sometimes, we think we are making progress on a personal, professional, or social situation... only to suffer a setback. Although, the events of the setback, seem almost tragic at the time, they are merely bumps in the road to our "perfected self." Afterall, we are only passing through Earth on our way to Eternity. This thought gives me the courage to plod on...following my own path.
Someone might intentionally be negative or hurtful to us. Maybe we are demoted at work or even lose employment. Sometimes, a loved one tells us that they no longer are "in love" with us...or even worse...have betrayed us with infidelity. And how often have we all had to actually hear things about ourselves that we knew to be false? How do we react; how do we deal? It is not always easy, but I suggest taking the higher road.
This does not mean that you don't react at all... and just walk away without efforts to understand or correct the situation at the time. However, it must be done with Honor and with Integrity. Do not retaliate with nasty words or hasty deeds. It brings nothing if not more hurt. Ultimately, the opposer will forget the incident and you will carry the burden of guilt in how poorly you handled the test/challenge as it was presented to you by God.
What helps me with negative situations is to ask myself: "Is this the worst thing that has ever happened to me?" "When I'm done here with my time on Earth... how much will this test/challenge mean?" "Does this define who I am as a person?" Even the most heartfelt attempts to correct a wrong are not always successful. That makes me see things more clearly. Life isn't meant to be easy.
Sue
Someone might intentionally be negative or hurtful to us. Maybe we are demoted at work or even lose employment. Sometimes, a loved one tells us that they no longer are "in love" with us...or even worse...have betrayed us with infidelity. And how often have we all had to actually hear things about ourselves that we knew to be false? How do we react; how do we deal? It is not always easy, but I suggest taking the higher road.
This does not mean that you don't react at all... and just walk away without efforts to understand or correct the situation at the time. However, it must be done with Honor and with Integrity. Do not retaliate with nasty words or hasty deeds. It brings nothing if not more hurt. Ultimately, the opposer will forget the incident and you will carry the burden of guilt in how poorly you handled the test/challenge as it was presented to you by God.
What helps me with negative situations is to ask myself: "Is this the worst thing that has ever happened to me?" "When I'm done here with my time on Earth... how much will this test/challenge mean?" "Does this define who I am as a person?" Even the most heartfelt attempts to correct a wrong are not always successful. That makes me see things more clearly. Life isn't meant to be easy.
Sue
We Alone Are Responsible for Our Lives
It is so easy in life to forget that we are responsible for our own success, happiness, and inner-peace. It is often easier to blame others than to own up to our personal failures. Many people I speak with have difficulty in this area. It is always someone else's fault that they didn't get the promotion at work. It is because of a difficult childhood (past or present)that they are unhappy or not accomplishing what God put them on Earth to accomplish. Or...the most powerful to overcome is a lack of inner-peace. Often, this lack consumes all energies and thought. "Why can't I be happy?"
The answer is rather straight forward and so simple that it might elude us at first. We give happiness to ourselves by accepting equal amounts of credit for a job well done and at the same time, owning up to human errors in judgement and personal failure. Epiphany! It is not necessary to be perfect, but what is necessary is to step up to the plate and accept responsibility for our actions and place in life. If we are not happy where we are in life, who we have become, and what we are doing...we need to change...not the world around us. Be pro-active in these areas and success, happiness, and inner-peace will follow. Amazing Grace. sue
The answer is rather straight forward and so simple that it might elude us at first. We give happiness to ourselves by accepting equal amounts of credit for a job well done and at the same time, owning up to human errors in judgement and personal failure. Epiphany! It is not necessary to be perfect, but what is necessary is to step up to the plate and accept responsibility for our actions and place in life. If we are not happy where we are in life, who we have become, and what we are doing...we need to change...not the world around us. Be pro-active in these areas and success, happiness, and inner-peace will follow. Amazing Grace. sue
Kindred Spirits: no anger; just acceptance!
A few months ago, on 20/20 on ABC , I watched the story of an amazing young girl, who confirmed my belief that we can indeed overcome great tests and challenges with positive attitude and our own healing energy.
Brittney Bergeron (Himmel), now sixteen, survived the unthinkable in 2003. At the young age of ten, she was left home alone to care for not only herself, but her three year old sister as well. Her mother and father struggled with their own demons of drugs and alcohol and for several years Brittney had been bounced back and forth between them. At best, her home life was unstable.
She was then, living in a trailer park some 80 miles outside of Las Vegas. The ten year old, Brittney, and three year old “Sissy” were left alone while their mother and new boyfriend gambled at a nearby hotel. This very act is Child Abuse and reckless endangerment of children. AND…the worst did happen; it always does. While the young girls were alone, two teens from the area, a brother and sister, themselves from a troubled home…broke into the trailer and brutally attacked both girls. They had been dupped in a drug deal by Brittney’s mother and were seeking revenge. They found it!
Both girls were stabbed with a butcher knife repeatedly. The three year old died in the hospital, but Brittney survived. She was paralyzed from the waist down and for the past six years has been in a wheelchair. But, this is when “… my life got good” she amazingly says.
With her mother in jail, Brittney was placed in a foster home. It was here, although confined to a wheelchair, that with love and caring from exceptional people, the Himmels, she started to heal. It mattered little to her that she could not walk like most young girls…what mattered most was that she was LOVED and cared for. Case positive that all things are relative in life. For a normal child, from a normal home…paralysis would have sent the entire family into a tailspin.
The Himmels, who had long cared for children with “special needs” saw this as nothing out of the ordinary. They encouraged Brittney to participate in wheelchair athletics. Instead of feeling sorry for herself, this young girl felt the need to make not only the Himmels proud, but herself as well. Recently, Brittney was adopted by the Himmels after years and years of her birth mother fighting the adoption.
Brittney Bergeron Himmel is an amazing example of honor and positive, self- healing energy. She gives honor not only to herself , but to all who are challenged physically. Integrity is hers by the mere fact she is not wallowing in self pity. What this young woman seems to grasp…is that she is not “dead” like her sister killed that fateful night…but alive. LIFE, that is the gift; the tests and challenges, even Childhood Abuse…they are all relative.
The journey is the destination. Live it well and heal.
Sue
Brittney Bergeron (Himmel), now sixteen, survived the unthinkable in 2003. At the young age of ten, she was left home alone to care for not only herself, but her three year old sister as well. Her mother and father struggled with their own demons of drugs and alcohol and for several years Brittney had been bounced back and forth between them. At best, her home life was unstable.
She was then, living in a trailer park some 80 miles outside of Las Vegas. The ten year old, Brittney, and three year old “Sissy” were left alone while their mother and new boyfriend gambled at a nearby hotel. This very act is Child Abuse and reckless endangerment of children. AND…the worst did happen; it always does. While the young girls were alone, two teens from the area, a brother and sister, themselves from a troubled home…broke into the trailer and brutally attacked both girls. They had been dupped in a drug deal by Brittney’s mother and were seeking revenge. They found it!
Both girls were stabbed with a butcher knife repeatedly. The three year old died in the hospital, but Brittney survived. She was paralyzed from the waist down and for the past six years has been in a wheelchair. But, this is when “… my life got good” she amazingly says.
With her mother in jail, Brittney was placed in a foster home. It was here, although confined to a wheelchair, that with love and caring from exceptional people, the Himmels, she started to heal. It mattered little to her that she could not walk like most young girls…what mattered most was that she was LOVED and cared for. Case positive that all things are relative in life. For a normal child, from a normal home…paralysis would have sent the entire family into a tailspin.
The Himmels, who had long cared for children with “special needs” saw this as nothing out of the ordinary. They encouraged Brittney to participate in wheelchair athletics. Instead of feeling sorry for herself, this young girl felt the need to make not only the Himmels proud, but herself as well. Recently, Brittney was adopted by the Himmels after years and years of her birth mother fighting the adoption.
Brittney Bergeron Himmel is an amazing example of honor and positive, self- healing energy. She gives honor not only to herself , but to all who are challenged physically. Integrity is hers by the mere fact she is not wallowing in self pity. What this young woman seems to grasp…is that she is not “dead” like her sister killed that fateful night…but alive. LIFE, that is the gift; the tests and challenges, even Childhood Abuse…they are all relative.
The journey is the destination. Live it well and heal.
Sue
Defying the Odds... is not just for the President
I had an epiphany several months back, when I watched the Inauguration of our country's 44th President. Everything in our given lives is about coming from a place of impossible odds and overcoming those challenges as they are presented. For our new President, Barack Obama and his family, it's not really about them being the first African American family to inhabit the White House, but rather that they "defied the odds" in doing so. I liked that. It is how I described my own journey in overcoming Child Abuse. I defied the odds as well, in that I am whole and healthy in spirit, but there are many of us ... in many areas. All of us face some test of defying the odds at some point. Whether it's overcoming current or past abuse, financial and/or emotional tests, drug and alcohol addiction or any number of other things...if we defy the odds...we win!
In my book, I write about how blessed I feel, that in spite of my background...I am relatively unscathed. When I think about it further, I know that it was also positive action on my part. When we overcome statistical odds in our own lives and come out better on the other side...we are "Obama" in our own right. No one chooses to be an Abused Child. Similarly, no one gets to choose their birth parents, sex, skin color, or even nationality. The mere fact that we arrive on this Earth as humans, at all ...is somewhat of a statistical miracle. We arrive from the fertlization of a single sperm finding a single egg. That's defying the odds right there in our own birth.
In this great country of the United States, we also get to choose other things that we take for granted; freedom of speech and freedom of religion are just two. We saw it in action during this past campaign. There are more. We have the freedom to leave our own negative choices and pasts behind us at any time. We have the freedom to pursue an education, and take it to the highest level, similar to our new president, and therefore secure good employment. We have the freedom to help others and give generously of ourselves to make America a better place for all. That follows that we can be a country of givers and not takers. This applies to all of us. It appears we are off to a start in that direction...maybe for the first time. We also have the freedom to stop whining about what we don't have, can't do, or don't like...and make our own changes. The new administration is not going to pay our rent/mortgage, lower gas/food prices, and cure all the other issues facing our country.
When I think of the slogan "Time for a Change" it means that we all have to change in some personal area; this is not a slogan for the new administration alone. Defy the odds, overcome your own challenges and become better with each day. In America, all things are possible. Sue
In my book, I write about how blessed I feel, that in spite of my background...I am relatively unscathed. When I think about it further, I know that it was also positive action on my part. When we overcome statistical odds in our own lives and come out better on the other side...we are "Obama" in our own right. No one chooses to be an Abused Child. Similarly, no one gets to choose their birth parents, sex, skin color, or even nationality. The mere fact that we arrive on this Earth as humans, at all ...is somewhat of a statistical miracle. We arrive from the fertlization of a single sperm finding a single egg. That's defying the odds right there in our own birth.
In this great country of the United States, we also get to choose other things that we take for granted; freedom of speech and freedom of religion are just two. We saw it in action during this past campaign. There are more. We have the freedom to leave our own negative choices and pasts behind us at any time. We have the freedom to pursue an education, and take it to the highest level, similar to our new president, and therefore secure good employment. We have the freedom to help others and give generously of ourselves to make America a better place for all. That follows that we can be a country of givers and not takers. This applies to all of us. It appears we are off to a start in that direction...maybe for the first time. We also have the freedom to stop whining about what we don't have, can't do, or don't like...and make our own changes. The new administration is not going to pay our rent/mortgage, lower gas/food prices, and cure all the other issues facing our country.
When I think of the slogan "Time for a Change" it means that we all have to change in some personal area; this is not a slogan for the new administration alone. Defy the odds, overcome your own challenges and become better with each day. In America, all things are possible. Sue
Once again...MySpace and Facebook: often unhealthy!
STILL...the following article gets so many "hits" on my Blog... it's important to include it here as well for a time. Children and young people are too often abused by adults, that is a given, but often they take on the "abuse" themselves in their MySpace and Facebook use. If this hits home, in any fashion...please read on:
I often wonder how many of us would have become better people or have accomplished more with our lives if we had "walked away" from things that were unhealthy. There are so many things that are "unhealthy" for us, that I believe we are not even aware of the long term repercussions, until it's too late to make corrections. The Internet provides the new positive as well as the new unhealthy.
For some of the best years of my life, I have taught young people. Although it appeared that I was an English teacher/professor...what I really taught was about LIFE! My message was not subtle; I am not a subtle person. Life is hard and it requires a steady course to overcome our individual tests and limitations. As of late, I am so angered and disappointed by what I see posted by so many young people on Facebook and MySpace. What you put on today, you own forever. Forever!
Not only are things being said/done that can never be erased, (once it is on the Internet it can be "recalled" for eternity...I need to repeat that ), but there seems to be great delight in "shocking" the viewers/readers. You know, EVERYONE can see those postings, right? Family, employers, teachers...everyone. I see it as a call for help from the younger generations. In its basic form, it is too often desperation to be noticed...if even in a negative way.
When a young person blatantly acts out in words/deeds...they are in trouble and need guidance. I know this from experience and personal involvement. Excessive drinking and drugs, posing nearly nude or in suggestive sexual positions, excessive self -mutilation (be it piercing or body art ), and words/deeds that hurt others are...never signs of a healthy young person. When it is posted for the world to see you open yourself up to all kinds of future liability, criticism, and heartache. Sadly, you are abusing yourself. I can't view it any other way.
I get that all young people test and act out. However, excessive testing and acting out and then "posting" it on line for the world to see... has dangerous and long lasting repercussions. Even if your site is marked "private" one of your less scrupulous contacts has theirs wide-open for the world to see and read. Your "privacy" is their fodder. Duh!
If you are someone with a healthy self-image, you don't need approval or validation from anyone else as to how "cool" you are. You give yourself honor and integrity by doing good things for yourself and giving generously to others. Over drinking/ doing drugs, body parts with excessive art(?), eating disorders (too much or too little food; it doesn't matter), or beating up on others physically or verbally are just scabs on the wounds that will never heal.
Do something that you can be proud of and then post it on-line. The world is watching. You will be pleased not only today, but five and ten years from now as well. If you are in an unhealthy "space" it stops today. If you need help, ask for it! You have that choice. Pretty amazing to be human. However, do it so you can "face" your choices with pride down the road.
Sue
I often wonder how many of us would have become better people or have accomplished more with our lives if we had "walked away" from things that were unhealthy. There are so many things that are "unhealthy" for us, that I believe we are not even aware of the long term repercussions, until it's too late to make corrections. The Internet provides the new positive as well as the new unhealthy.
For some of the best years of my life, I have taught young people. Although it appeared that I was an English teacher/professor...what I really taught was about LIFE! My message was not subtle; I am not a subtle person. Life is hard and it requires a steady course to overcome our individual tests and limitations. As of late, I am so angered and disappointed by what I see posted by so many young people on Facebook and MySpace. What you put on today, you own forever. Forever!
Not only are things being said/done that can never be erased, (once it is on the Internet it can be "recalled" for eternity...I need to repeat that ), but there seems to be great delight in "shocking" the viewers/readers. You know, EVERYONE can see those postings, right? Family, employers, teachers...everyone. I see it as a call for help from the younger generations. In its basic form, it is too often desperation to be noticed...if even in a negative way.
When a young person blatantly acts out in words/deeds...they are in trouble and need guidance. I know this from experience and personal involvement. Excessive drinking and drugs, posing nearly nude or in suggestive sexual positions, excessive self -mutilation (be it piercing or body art ), and words/deeds that hurt others are...never signs of a healthy young person. When it is posted for the world to see you open yourself up to all kinds of future liability, criticism, and heartache. Sadly, you are abusing yourself. I can't view it any other way.
I get that all young people test and act out. However, excessive testing and acting out and then "posting" it on line for the world to see... has dangerous and long lasting repercussions. Even if your site is marked "private" one of your less scrupulous contacts has theirs wide-open for the world to see and read. Your "privacy" is their fodder. Duh!
If you are someone with a healthy self-image, you don't need approval or validation from anyone else as to how "cool" you are. You give yourself honor and integrity by doing good things for yourself and giving generously to others. Over drinking/ doing drugs, body parts with excessive art(?), eating disorders (too much or too little food; it doesn't matter), or beating up on others physically or verbally are just scabs on the wounds that will never heal.
Do something that you can be proud of and then post it on-line. The world is watching. You will be pleased not only today, but five and ten years from now as well. If you are in an unhealthy "space" it stops today. If you need help, ask for it! You have that choice. Pretty amazing to be human. However, do it so you can "face" your choices with pride down the road.
Sue
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