Tests and Challenges Make Us Stronger!
In light of all that is going on in the modern world: Civil War and genocide in a number of countries, starvation and health epidemics in many others, acts of Nature with grand scale destruction and continuing loss of homes and lives right here in America, and the never ending issue of AIDS and other life threatening illness i.e. Cancer etc. …all over the world… we still find time to ask, “Why me?” in regard to our individual Child Abuse.
I’m pretty sure I know an answer that might make the Abused look at his own abuse in a new light. It is important to remember that during each of our stays here on Earth, we are constantly tested and challenged. Abuse, of any type, is a test or challenge even though unwelcome. Childhood Abuse is not a disease for which there is no cure. Rather, it calls for recognition and active participation in healing. If we continue our own lives in any sort of dysfunction: excessive eating/ drinking or drug abuse, anxiety or depression, abuse of others, in any form…we continue the abuse and our abuser(s) win! We are now abusing ourselves.
Instead think: “Why not me?” We are still whole and alive, we are capable of healing and moving forward, we give ourselves honor and integrity, and most importantly… we are not defined by what has been done to us. Rather, we are what we have chosen to do for ourselves.
Any type of personal dysfunction or chemical dependency need not be perpetuated to another generation… in any form. I believe it was meant to stop with us. It is a matter of personal choice and inner-strength.
Olympic Failures are Good Lessons for Life!
Limitations
I watched the Olympics last evening and saw a theme repeat itself several times over; it was hard to ignore. The predicted "favorite" fell short of expectations in several events and an athlete that was unexpected to "place" in the medals (Bronze Silver, or Gold) went on to score victory. I felt sad for the athletes who had trained so hard and so long who because of their own human error, Fate, or Divine Intervention went on to defeat. THEN, I got it!
It's like that for all of us. We are only defeated if we believe ourselves to be defeated. It's more about the place in our heads, hearts, and bodies from where we started our individual "race" and where we ultimately finish the "race" that really matters.
Did we come the distance and give it our full efforts in the process? Some of them did it with great dignity, and I fully admired that and others ended with despair...and I felt "sorry" for them.
Our individual sporting event is LIFE! And similar to the athletes in the Olympic Games we often are disappointed, dicouraged, and defeated. However, the outcome of each race and LIFE can be handled with dignity...or despair.
We can be either admired or pitied. It's pretty clear which is the better choice.
We Alone Are Responsible for Our Lives
It is so easy in life to forget that we are responsible for our own success, happiness, and inner-peace. It is often easier to blame others than to own up to our personal failures. Many people I speak with have difficulty in this area. It is always someone else's fault that they didn't get the promotion at work. It is because of a difficult childhood (past or present)that they are unhappy or not accomplishing what God put them on Earth to accomplish. Or...the most powerful to overcome is a lack of inner-peace. Often, this lack consumes all energies and thought. "Why can't I be happy?"
The answer is rather straight forward and so simple that it might elude us at first. We give happiness to ourselves by accepting equal amounts of credit for a job well done and at the same time, owning up to human errors in judgement and personal failure. Epiphany! It is not necessary to be perfect, but what is necessary is to step up to the plate and accept responsibility for our actions and place in life. If we are not happy where we are in life, who we have become, and what we are doing...we need to change...not the world around us. Be pro-active in these areas and success, happiness, and inner-peace will follow.
Amazing Grace.
The answer is rather straight forward and so simple that it might elude us at first. We give happiness to ourselves by accepting equal amounts of credit for a job well done and at the same time, owning up to human errors in judgement and personal failure. Epiphany! It is not necessary to be perfect, but what is necessary is to step up to the plate and accept responsibility for our actions and place in life. If we are not happy where we are in life, who we have become, and what we are doing...we need to change...not the world around us. Be pro-active in these areas and success, happiness, and inner-peace will follow.
Amazing Grace.
SPIRIT UNBROKEN A Journey of Hope, Survival, and Beating the Odds
Thanks for making the Weekly Wordpress Blog a world-wide read. It is an honor.
Please keep following. Sue
Please keep following. Sue
Frustrations and Setbacks
Sometimes, we think we are making progress on a personal, professional, or social situation... only to suffer a setback. Although, the events of the setback, seem almost tragic at the time, they are merely bumps in the road to our "perfected self." Afterall, we are only passing through Earth on our way to Eternity. This thought gives me the courage to plod on...following my own path.
Someone might intentionally be negative or hurtful to us. Maybe we are demoted at work or even lose employment. Sometimes, a loved one tells us that they no longer are "in love" with us...or even worse...have betrayed us with infidelity. And how often have we all had to actually hear things about ourselves that we knew to be false? How do we react; how do we deal? It is not always easy, but I suggest taking the higher road.
This does not mean that you don't react at all... and just walk away without efforts to understand or correct the situation at the time. However, it must be done with Honor and with Integrity. Do not retaliate with nasty words or hasty deeds. It brings nothing if not more hurt. Ultimately, the opposer will forget the incident and you will carry the burden of guilt in how poorly you handled the test/challenge as it was presented to you by God.
What helps me with negative situations is to ask myself: "Is this the worst thing that has ever happened to me?" "When I'm done here with my time on Earth... how much will this test/challenge mean?" "Does this define who I am as a person?" Even the most heartfelt attempts to correct a wrong are not always successful. That makes me see things more clearly. Life isn't meant to be easy.
Sue
Someone might intentionally be negative or hurtful to us. Maybe we are demoted at work or even lose employment. Sometimes, a loved one tells us that they no longer are "in love" with us...or even worse...have betrayed us with infidelity. And how often have we all had to actually hear things about ourselves that we knew to be false? How do we react; how do we deal? It is not always easy, but I suggest taking the higher road.
This does not mean that you don't react at all... and just walk away without efforts to understand or correct the situation at the time. However, it must be done with Honor and with Integrity. Do not retaliate with nasty words or hasty deeds. It brings nothing if not more hurt. Ultimately, the opposer will forget the incident and you will carry the burden of guilt in how poorly you handled the test/challenge as it was presented to you by God.
What helps me with negative situations is to ask myself: "Is this the worst thing that has ever happened to me?" "When I'm done here with my time on Earth... how much will this test/challenge mean?" "Does this define who I am as a person?" Even the most heartfelt attempts to correct a wrong are not always successful. That makes me see things more clearly. Life isn't meant to be easy.
Sue
We Alone Are Responsible for Our Lives
It is so easy in life to forget that we are responsible for our own success, happiness, and inner-peace. It is often easier to blame others than to own up to our personal failures. Many people I speak with have difficulty in this area. It is always someone else's fault that they didn't get the promotion at work. It is because of a difficult childhood (past or present)that they are unhappy or not accomplishing what God put them on Earth to accomplish. Or...the most powerful to overcome is a lack of inner-peace. Often, this lack consumes all energies and thought. "Why can't I be happy?"
The answer is rather straight forward and so simple that it might elude us at first. We give happiness to ourselves by accepting equal amounts of credit for a job well done and at the same time, owning up to human errors in judgement and personal failure. Epiphany! It is not necessary to be perfect, but what is necessary is to step up to the plate and accept responsibility for our actions and place in life. If we are not happy where we are in life, who we have become, and what we are doing...we need to change...not the world around us. Be pro-active in these areas and success, happiness, and inner-peace will follow. Amazing Grace. sue
The answer is rather straight forward and so simple that it might elude us at first. We give happiness to ourselves by accepting equal amounts of credit for a job well done and at the same time, owning up to human errors in judgement and personal failure. Epiphany! It is not necessary to be perfect, but what is necessary is to step up to the plate and accept responsibility for our actions and place in life. If we are not happy where we are in life, who we have become, and what we are doing...we need to change...not the world around us. Be pro-active in these areas and success, happiness, and inner-peace will follow. Amazing Grace. sue
Kindred Spirits: no anger; just acceptance!
A few months ago, on 20/20 on ABC , I watched the story of an amazing young girl, who confirmed my belief that we can indeed overcome great tests and challenges with positive attitude and our own healing energy.
Brittney Bergeron (Himmel), now sixteen, survived the unthinkable in 2003. At the young age of ten, she was left home alone to care for not only herself, but her three year old sister as well. Her mother and father struggled with their own demons of drugs and alcohol and for several years Brittney had been bounced back and forth between them. At best, her home life was unstable.
She was then, living in a trailer park some 80 miles outside of Las Vegas. The ten year old, Brittney, and three year old “Sissy” were left alone while their mother and new boyfriend gambled at a nearby hotel. This very act is Child Abuse and reckless endangerment of children. AND…the worst did happen; it always does. While the young girls were alone, two teens from the area, a brother and sister, themselves from a troubled home…broke into the trailer and brutally attacked both girls. They had been dupped in a drug deal by Brittney’s mother and were seeking revenge. They found it!
Both girls were stabbed with a butcher knife repeatedly. The three year old died in the hospital, but Brittney survived. She was paralyzed from the waist down and for the past six years has been in a wheelchair. But, this is when “… my life got good” she amazingly says.
With her mother in jail, Brittney was placed in a foster home. It was here, although confined to a wheelchair, that with love and caring from exceptional people, the Himmels, she started to heal. It mattered little to her that she could not walk like most young girls…what mattered most was that she was LOVED and cared for. Case positive that all things are relative in life. For a normal child, from a normal home…paralysis would have sent the entire family into a tailspin.
The Himmels, who had long cared for children with “special needs” saw this as nothing out of the ordinary. They encouraged Brittney to participate in wheelchair athletics. Instead of feeling sorry for herself, this young girl felt the need to make not only the Himmels proud, but herself as well. Recently, Brittney was adopted by the Himmels after years and years of her birth mother fighting the adoption.
Brittney Bergeron Himmel is an amazing example of honor and positive, self- healing energy. She gives honor not only to herself , but to all who are challenged physically. Integrity is hers by the mere fact she is not wallowing in self pity. What this young woman seems to grasp…is that she is not “dead” like her sister killed that fateful night…but alive. LIFE, that is the gift; the tests and challenges, even Childhood Abuse…they are all relative.
The journey is the destination. Live it well and heal.
Sue
Brittney Bergeron (Himmel), now sixteen, survived the unthinkable in 2003. At the young age of ten, she was left home alone to care for not only herself, but her three year old sister as well. Her mother and father struggled with their own demons of drugs and alcohol and for several years Brittney had been bounced back and forth between them. At best, her home life was unstable.
She was then, living in a trailer park some 80 miles outside of Las Vegas. The ten year old, Brittney, and three year old “Sissy” were left alone while their mother and new boyfriend gambled at a nearby hotel. This very act is Child Abuse and reckless endangerment of children. AND…the worst did happen; it always does. While the young girls were alone, two teens from the area, a brother and sister, themselves from a troubled home…broke into the trailer and brutally attacked both girls. They had been dupped in a drug deal by Brittney’s mother and were seeking revenge. They found it!
Both girls were stabbed with a butcher knife repeatedly. The three year old died in the hospital, but Brittney survived. She was paralyzed from the waist down and for the past six years has been in a wheelchair. But, this is when “… my life got good” she amazingly says.
With her mother in jail, Brittney was placed in a foster home. It was here, although confined to a wheelchair, that with love and caring from exceptional people, the Himmels, she started to heal. It mattered little to her that she could not walk like most young girls…what mattered most was that she was LOVED and cared for. Case positive that all things are relative in life. For a normal child, from a normal home…paralysis would have sent the entire family into a tailspin.
The Himmels, who had long cared for children with “special needs” saw this as nothing out of the ordinary. They encouraged Brittney to participate in wheelchair athletics. Instead of feeling sorry for herself, this young girl felt the need to make not only the Himmels proud, but herself as well. Recently, Brittney was adopted by the Himmels after years and years of her birth mother fighting the adoption.
Brittney Bergeron Himmel is an amazing example of honor and positive, self- healing energy. She gives honor not only to herself , but to all who are challenged physically. Integrity is hers by the mere fact she is not wallowing in self pity. What this young woman seems to grasp…is that she is not “dead” like her sister killed that fateful night…but alive. LIFE, that is the gift; the tests and challenges, even Childhood Abuse…they are all relative.
The journey is the destination. Live it well and heal.
Sue
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