PERSONAL INDEPENDENCE ON THE 4TH OF JULY!

This is Your Life! The Secret is in the Editing.

This is interesting to think about. While we can’t change the past or predict our future, we can change the present life we are living. We have the choice, every single day, to do what we’re doing and just how we do it. I would love to say that I’m going to “edit” all of the negativity out of my life, once and for all… and live happily ever after for ever. Of course, it’s not that easy. There are real life issues when it comes to living the present. Personal issues, family issues, health issues and… well, life itself crowds the every day agenda. If we could all just do what we wanted to do every day, it would be nice, but that’s not realistic either.

This brings us to a logical question: What can you take out of your present situation to make life more of what you want it to be? Believe it or not, there are even little things you can change to make your world more of what you want it to be. Too often we settle for things as they are, assuming that is how they have to be. They don’t. You have the God-given ability to “cut things out” : negative people, bad places, unhealthy activities and habits, and whatever it takes in order to improve your current Life’s Story. Just as when I’m editing the written word, it’s not easy to cut things out, but it can be accomplished.

This is what we need to do in real life too … edit. When you’re writing your life, you can’t have everything in the story or it gets cluttered and chaotic. What’s important to you? Not what’s important to the people around you, but to you! Give your own story strength of character and integrity of personal choices. You can’t control what others do, but you can control your own actions to the stimulus!

The past may be gone and the future might be uncertain, but we have the power to choose our "now.”

CHOOSE TO LIVE IT WELL.

WHAT?... " IT IS WHAT IT IS." I say ... NEVER!

When a long journey begins, or when a quest is undertaken, be it a pilgrimage of  Spirit or an ambition, desire, or hope... there is the excitement at the beginning… because the unknown still lies before us. But at some stage, we tire. The terrain can become unfamiliar. Issues arise, challenges greet us, and at this point, too many feel that this must not be meant to be – for we have told ourself that if it is truly meant to be, it will be easy. This is not always the case. 

Rarely, is LIFE easy.

It appears to be, for all, in both the seen and unseen worlds, there are parts of the "great journey" that require: stamina, courage, and endurance – our ability to commit, and to stay with the task until we have made it.  Do not enter into challenges lightly – enter into them, if at all, wholeheartedly.

Without what we describe as "a challenge," there will be no growth.  If we work through the challenges, we will emerge stronger, and then be more able to realize the next dream. If we run at the first sign of difficulty, we will never forget it; it will be considered a personal failure.  Perhaps, the time has come in life and work for us to build up your endurance. 

Commit. Practice. Train! No matter what the goal... give it our all. That's endurance of thought, word, or deed.

We may believe we are weak mentally or physically unable to complete a task. We may be committed to believing that there is no way our "strength" can increase. It is usually not about our physicality – so often, it is the amazing endurance of Spirit and Soul. Our creative force requires the ability to go that little bit further, to reach a little higher, to extend ourselves, to go well beyond our individual comfort zones.

The second part of our strength is preparing ourself and then strength will come through, just at the point we are ready to give up.  Keep going; we can go so much further than we believe we can! This is not the time to turn back or to allow the challenges/ tests to take us.

This is the time to continue the journey you committed to – because you are being tested and you can pass this test. But you must keep going. Eyes forward. Intention focused. Purpose clear!

Only then, if someone says, "It is what it is," might we agree.  Well, maybe.

Living Life to the Fullest. It's Good!

We live in a world of constant and often frightening change and never know of our tomorrow (s). I often ask myself … what will tomorrow bring! Will I have a blessed day with no worries or sickness upon me? Will I be able to cope with what will be passed to me through my day? Will I make a difference?

Finally, it dawns on me that I am so blessed to just be able to wake up and open my eyes each and every morning. I get to experience glorious Life, yet again. I should treasure each day and make everyday day count in my life.

We must not dwell on the past and ruin our present. Our past sometimes can haunt us and make our present day not too enjoyable. If your own past has haunted you and it’s fixable, then go after the problem and resolve it, so that you can live in peace. If it cannot be fixed, then choose to let it go.

As time and moments pass us by, they are then called memories and can be either positive or negative. We all want to have in our lives the best and happiest memories. None of us want to have bad memories of anything, but unfortunately, we will have many of them and disappointments to go along with them. It’s good to put everything in perspective.

I try to live everyday to the fullest and make each day count because there is no guarantee to the length of our individual times on Earth. In my journey, there have been acquired lessons of great value. Treat all people with respect and kindness. Turn the other cheek as hard as it might be. Learn to love and respect yourself, because without that, you will have a hard time loving and respecting others.

Really appreciate what you have in your Life and don’t take anything for granted. We can all improve the quality of our existence with some extra hard work to achieve a personal goal. However, if that goal is not achieved, the gain is in the personal knowledge that all effort was put forth in the venture of trying.

I try to make it a habit to glance into the sky and say thanks for all things in Life… exactly as given. My days are rewarding; yet challenging, happy; while melancholy at times, enlightening; even at this point in my life, and exhausting; while at the same time… I wouldn’t want it any other way.

Each day we experience is as different and individual as each one of us. May we all choose to live it well.

BE TOUGH on FUTURE GENERATIONS! IT'S OUR FUTURE.

I try to keep up with many of my former students' lives.  Over the years, I have taught so many; I'd like to say I remember them all, but that would be a lie.  I do remember all of those with "promise" and all of those with "struggles" as they took most of my attention and heart during the time I had them in the classroom. It's impossible for me  to say who touched me the most.  Was it the ones that had so much potential, and actually went on to accomplish great things after they left me, or the ones who had overcome great odds and just getting them to come to school and eventually graduate high school had been a feat in itself?   I  can't say.

In today's high-tech society it is easy to follow their progress... or lack of.  Often they contact me themselves, my own email address has been the same since AOL's inception and my students have  many times told me..."It's so you, Ms. Brown!"  For that reason alone, I will always keep it.  Lately, it has not been difficult to track them down on the Internet. Sometimes, it's through one of the conventional social connectors: i.e.  Facebook, Twitter, or now they tell me to Instagram them, whatever.  I also Google them and see what's going on with them good... or bad.
AND...every once in a while, I am sent a news article that delights me or causes me concern.  Technology makes us all connected... good and bad news.

It was one of the latter, that has been consuming most of my thinking the past few days.  I was forwarded  news  about one of the students that had held so much promise. He was gifted academically, a wonderful athlete, a leader in his class, and was ultimately accepted into one of the most prestigious universities in the Northeast.  He has now been out of college for quite a few years. The article read that He had just been sentenced to prison for the next decade of his life... on drug related charges.  It took my breath away.  How had this happened?

His proverbial fall from grace not only astounded me, but made me cry.  He was a student that had passed through my life and yet, I felt like I had failed him.  I can't even imagine the raw emotions his family must be having. The feelings must run the full reign from anger, sadness, failure, and shame... then back to anger!  I know that's what I felt anyway.

  How dare he throw his life away like that!   Life is about CHOICE and with each and every positive choice we make we define who we are. What I couldn't get my mind around was how selfish this young man had been.  He had thought of no one but himself with his destructive actions.  Hadn't he seen that?  Where had he "learned" that he could do whatever he wanted to and not be accountable?

When we are given gifts and/or talents in our individual journeys, during this time on Earth, and we throw them away... we are being disrespectful not only to our Creator, but to all who love, nurture, and take care of us.  It is  hard for me to reflect on the number of young people who come from really difficult backgrounds and home lives and do go on to make the world a better place for those who will follow them.  There are many of those, but many "choose" to go the wrong way too.  This was not the first former student who had chosen a destructive path in their lives.

It is then that I wondered with guilt if Society, as a whole, has just been too easy on America's youth and young adults in the past two decades!  I am the first to acknowledge that there are many wonderful young people, but have we lost something that used to be present years ago, by giving too much and asking too little of them.

When do they stop asking for: cars, trips, and parents to "bail them out"  when they get into legal and/or financial trouble.   It appears that WE  have created THE generation of "entitlement" in our country. There is an unspoken ME, among many of them, that is so troubling.  We love them so much that we honestly believe the way to make them love us back is to always: give, forgive, and ignore their negative choices.

Perhaps, we adults/parents are the selfish and needy ones.  It is difficult to have our  children not "love us" or even dislike us from time to time.  What I'm professing is that being  good parents, (coaches or educators as well), requires a strong backbone.  Being strong parents is necessary and we must be consistent, even when our "children" get older.

 There can be no copping out because it's easier to say "Yes," or "I'll get you out of it," or "Here's the money for...," saying"No!" is difficult, but often the only right thing to do.    However, with this said America's youth in the end accountable for their own screw ups! There are always consequences for bad choices and always have been. They did not consult with us when they had unprotected sex, bought and used drugs/alcohol illegally, ran up credit cards, or dropped out of school.  We need to recognize that they can learn from their mistakes.  We did.

We can not cure the problem(s) of our country's upcoming generations, but we sure can start fixing our own mistakes in how we love them and guide them in positive directions.

  Right now, we can, and must, start by being stronger parents/adults and bosses/supervisors ourselves.   Give our children less and speak up about any negative choices in their lives when seen necessary.  Counsel, wisely and compassionately, employees when they are heading in the wrong direction at work and personally.  Being strong and caring for others is not a negative thing; caring for others is the right thing both for them and others.  

CHANGE IS GOOD; USE IT WELL!

CHANGE your present life!

Now this is interesting. While we can’t change the past or predict the future, we can change the present life we are living.  We have the choice, every single day, to do what we’re doing.

I would love to sit here and tell you that I’m writing from home because I was so inspired that I quit my “other” job to pursue my dream of being a full-time fiction writer. I would love to say that I’m going to edit all of the negativity out of my life once and for all… and live happily ever after for the rest  of my life.   Of course, it’s not that easy. There are real life issues when it comes to living the present.  Personal issues, family issues and… well, life itself crowds the every day agenda.   If we could all just do what we wanted to do every day, it would be nice, but that’s not realistic.

This brings us to a logical question: What can you take out of your present to make your life more of what you want it to be? Believe it or not, there are things you can change to make your world more of what you want it to be. Too often we settle for things as they are, assuming that is how they have to be. They don’t. You have the God-given ability to cut things out : negative people, bad places, unhealthy activities and habits, and whatever it takes in order to improve your current life’s story. Just as when you’re editing the written word,  it’s not easy to cut things out, but it can be accomplished.

This is what we need to do in real life though… edit. When you’re writing your life, you can’t have everything in the story or it gets cluttered and chaotic. What’s important to you? Give your own story strength of character and integrity of personal choices.  You can’t control what others do, but you can control your own actions!

The past may be gone and the future might be uncertain, but we have the power to choose our “ now.”

OUR HUMAN ABILITY TO "CHOOSE" IS ALWAYS THE BEST GIFT!

New Year; new choices, new attitudes!

The reason everyone is wished a “Happy” New Year is quite special. It is because we hopefully grasp the simplicity of the concept that in the new year, as opposed to the old one, we can all literally wipe our lives clean of all the negatives… and start fresh. The new year can be one of personal change and growth. How amazing is that?

The wonderful thing about being human is that all of us have the power of “choice.” This applies to everything in our lives, basically from the moment we enter adulthood. Before that time we live under the dictates of adult “supervision.” To hold another accountable for either the good and/or bad in our own lives is ridiculous. It is also disrespectful to our Creator. In my writings over the past two decades, I have never professed to have all the answers, but I do have a great deal of human interaction, experience, and an academic background that speaks for itself.

I share my own insight and path in hopes that it helps others too. It has by the huge amounts of positive feedback I get at lectures, in person, and via email. However, we all have the right to CHOOSE our own path. I have never had all the answers and never will.

Think of it! We can choose how we live our lives and be in full control of the decisions we make each and every day. Each sunrise we are offered a brand new opportunity to start over with our choices. Each new year, we also get to start over! No one can make us stop being in another’s life; there must be a reason(s) and it is based on personal choice. No one can force us to eat or drink too much unless we want to; it’s our choice. No one can make us good, productive people. It is also, our choice.

Likewise, no one can make us whole, happy, and a contributor to the lives of others. We must find that path ourselves. With this gift of CHOICE comes great responsibility. It is true…no one knows what goes on in another’s life. That goes in both directions.

 May we all choose the higher ground for this clean, unblemished year.

May we all live this year well.

Sue

EARNING RESPECT!

     Respecting others is a slippery slope and has nothing to do with entitlement.

We all want to be respected, but there are times the phrase is either misused or underutilized.  So often we hear someone say something similar to, “They weren’t giving me my respect, so I ….” This line is usually followed with explanation of some negative action given to the supposed offender. I hear this often with the younger generations.

     It is difficult to respect someone who hasn’t, (and doesn’t), earn our respect.  Recent generations seem more concerned with having us all “respecting” them,  but it’s difficult not to notice that often they don’t earn the respect they command.  We are entitled to nothing we haven’t earned ourselves; that’s both figuratively and literally.  You are not “in charge” or the “boss”merely because you say you are.  That lacks humility and goes against honest Christian values.

I often think of my grandfather’s generation where men and woman both knew they were responsible for their own actions.  Their hands were rarely open to receive, but rather more often to give.  A person’s word and a handshake were as good as a signed contract.  If someone said they would be there at a specific time, they were.  Rarely were there excuses and alibis.  These were actions to be respected.  For the most part, they seem to be a thing of the past. Let’s all work on that.

Over the years, I have worked with many organizations where the folks at the head were more concerned with their own self- promotion than the project at hand. Recently, there was to be a literary event of magnitude in my home area. Understandably, I was excited. After all, this was my profession and now it was coming close to home. People all over the country sent books to be judged; many of them were well-known authors and some quite new to the profession.

There had been grand plans for the event… had it been followed through until the end. However, instead of truth telling by those in the lead, there were excuses and alibis when the “leader” abruptly left. It left many wondering if indeed it was ever to have happened in the first place. It appears that no one thought this through. Unfortunately, it has caused a great deal of displeasure and annoyance.

Earning respect is as simple as: telling the truth, keeping your word, showing up when you are supposed to, and making decisions of Integrity.  Not always an easy road, but one that is… respected.  Let us all do our best.