FUTURE GENERATIONS? WE CAN DO THIS, BUT WE HAVE TO BE TOUGH! IT'S THE WORLD'S FUTURE AFTER ALL.

BE TOUGH on FUTURE GENERATIONS! IT'S OUR FUTURE.

I try to keep up with many of my former students' lives.  Over the years, I have taught so many; I'd like to say I remember them all, but that would be a lie.  I do remember all of those with "promise" and all of those with "struggles" as they took most of my attention and heart during the time I had them in the classroom. It's impossible for me  to say who touched me the most.  Was it the ones that had so much potential, and actually went on to accomplish great things after they left me, or the ones who had overcome great odds and just getting them to come to school and eventually graduate high school had been a feat in itself?   I  can't say.

In today's high-tech society it is easy to follow their progress... or lack of.  Often they contact me themselves, my own email address has been the same since AOL's inception and my students have  many times told me..."It's so you, Ms. Brown!"  For that reason alone, I will always keep it.  Lately, it has not been difficult to track them down on the Internet. Sometimes, it's through one of the conventional social connectors: i.e.  Facebook, Twitter, or now they tell me to Instagram them, whatever.  I also Google them and see what's going on with them good... or bad.
AND...every once in a while, I am sent a news article that delights me or causes me concern.  Technology makes us all connected... good and bad news.

It was one of the latter, that has been consuming most of my thinking the past few days.  I was forwarded  news  about one of the students that had held so much promise. He was gifted academically, a wonderful athlete, a leader in his class, and was ultimately accepted into one of the most prestigious universities in the Northeast.  He has now been out of college for quite a few years. The article read that He had just been sentenced to prison for the next decade of his life... on drug related charges.  It took my breath away.  How had this happened?

His proverbial fall from grace not only astounded me, but made me cry.  He was a student that had passed through my life and yet, I felt like I had failed him.  I can't even imagine the raw emotions his family must be having. The feelings must run the full reign from anger, sadness, failure, and shame... then back to anger!  I know that's what I felt anyway.

  How dare he throw his life away like that!   Life is about CHOICE and with each and every positive choice we make we define who we are. What I couldn't get my mind around was how selfish this young man had been.  He had thought of no one but himself with his destructive actions.  Hadn't he seen that?  Where had he "learned" that he could do whatever he wanted to and not be accountable?

When we are given gifts and/or talents in our individual journeys, during this time on Earth, and we throw them away... we are being disrespectful not only to our Creator, but to all who love, nurture, and take care of us.  It is  hard for me to reflect on the number of young people who come from really difficult backgrounds and home lives and do go on to make the world a better place for those who will follow them.  There are many of those, but many "choose" to go the wrong way too.  This was not the first former student who had chosen a destructive path in their lives.

It is then that I wondered with guilt if Society, as a whole, has just been too easy on America's youth and young adults in the past two decades!  I am the first to acknowledge that there are many wonderful young people, but have we lost something that used to be present years ago, by giving too much and asking too little of them.

When do they stop asking for: cars, trips, and parents to "bail them out"  when they get into legal and/or financial trouble.   It appears that WE  have created THE generation of "entitlement" in our country. There is an unspoken ME, among many of them, that is so troubling.  We love them so much that we honestly believe the way to make them love us back is to always: give, forgive, and ignore their negative choices. 

Perhaps, we adults/parents are the selfish and needy ones.  It is difficult to have our  children not "love us" or even dislike us from time to time.  What I'm professing is that being  good parents, (coaches or educators as well), requires a strong backbone.  Being strong parents is necessary and we must be consistent, even when our "children" get older. 

 There can be no copping out because it's easier to say "Yes," or "I'll get you out of it," or "Here's the money for...," saying"No!" is difficult, but often the only right thing to do.    However, with this said America's youth in the end accountable for their own screw ups! There are always consequences for bad choices and always have been. They did not consult with us when they had unprotected sex, bought and used drugs/alcohol illegally, ran up credit cards, or dropped out of school.  We need to recognize that they can learn from their mistakes.  We did.

We can not cure the problem(s) of our country's upcoming generations, but we sure can start fixing our own mistakes in how we love them and guide them in positive directions.

  Right now, we can, and must, start by being stronger parents/adults and bosses/supervisors ourselves.   Give our children less and speak up about any negative choices in their lives when seen necessary.  Counsel, wisely and compassionately, employees when they are heading in the wrong direction at work and personally.  Being strong and caring for others is not a negative thing; caring for others is the right thing both for them and others. 

ACQUIRING the GIFT of HAPPINESS... all on our own!

As a writer of a POSITIVE LIFE BLOG… SPIRIT UNBROKEN, I am often asked... how others, (my readers),  can become “happier” in their own lives. I will share things that I have said “yes” to and that has helped me to become happier in my own life.

Just by picking a few of these ideas, you too will be on the track to being more content and happier overall. I do not have all the answers, but as I age and look back on my own wins vs. losses... things become clearer and worth passing along.

Being Imperfect

Trying to be perfect is setting the bar too high. It will be impossible to reach and ultimately lowers your self-esteem. You may not feel very happy about how things are going in your life even though they might be going very well indeed. “Perfectionism” for yourself eats at you and your happiness. Embrace your own imperfectness.

Believing in perfection 

Often we actually believe what we see about relationships and families by watching “perfect families” and “how love should be” on television and in the movies. It looks so good and wonderful and you want it for yourself. Best-selling authors capitalize on this formula over and over again. However, in real life, it clashes with reality and it can harm or possibly lead you to end relationships, jobs, projects, etc. just because your expectations are fiction. It is very useful to remind yourself: No one has it all in spite of outer appearance! I know this for a fact.

Go for good 

Aiming for “perfection” usually winds up in a project or something else progressing very slowly or never being finished at all. Perhaps, go for good instead. Warning: Don’t use "good" as an excuse to slack off. Simply realize that there is something called “good” and even “very good” and that’s not a bad thing.

Being Yourself

Not being able to be yourself, always trying to change for others, or censoring yourself doesn’t feel good at all. It makes life feel so small and limited.  Spend more time with the people who support your dreams, values, and you as a person. Or at least people who are not antagonistic and negative. Try spending less time with people who normally criticize you.

Supportive and life-expanding experiences

 Change your environment from time to time. Go further and spend more time with sources of information that support your dreams and can give you information that expands and makes your life happier. Accordingly, spend less time with negative and limiting influences.

Things you like

It is important to find some time and energy for the things that make you come alive.
Mix it up. Try something new, even if it is just something small, each week. Eat a vegetarian dish at lunch if you always eat meat. Listen to some music that isn’t your norm. Go out to a movie, café, or pub with friends if you usually stay in at night. Perhaps it’s the other way around. If you are someone who surrounds themselves with others, try spending quality time… alone. Create variation and expand your comfort zone regularly in small ways, is key to living a happier life. Boredom creates contempt.

Reconnect

If you used to go fishing, paint, or play the guitar and it really made you come alive… then discover it again. Use an hour for it this week and see if it still brings you joy and makes you come alive.
Be Optimistic
Pessimism can really limit your life and bring it to a standstill. It can make it feel like there’s no point in trying because it won’t make a difference or you’ll just fail. It can create ceilings and walls made out of glass where there really are none.
Ask questions. When you’re in what seems like a negative situation, then make something better out of it by asking yourself questions that promote optimism and helps you to find solutions. For example: What is one thing that is positive or good about this situation? Or what is the opportunity within this situation?
Start off positive. Good influences in your life can make a huge difference. Therefore, start your day off with positive things. A good breakfast, a form of exercise you enjoy, reading or praying if only for a short time. You get the idea!

Forgiveness

Forgiving is not always easy and can take time, but there are some things that can make it a little easier.
You forgive for you. As long as you don’t forgive someone you are forever linked to that person. Your thoughts will return to the person who wronged you and what he or she did…. over and over again. The emotional link between the two of you is so strong and inflicts much suffering in you and, as a result of your inner turmoil, and often in other people around you too. When you forgive, you release yourself.
Make a habit of forgiving yourself. Do not just forgive others, but also yourself. By forgiving yourself – instead of resenting yourself for something you did a week or years ago, you make the habit of forgiveness more and more of a natural part of you. And so forgiving others becomes easier too.

Don’t just take the word “happy” for granted.  Live it, practice it, and you too shall become it.     HAPPY… in life, work, and relationships.

PERSONAL INDEPENDENCE... POST JULY 4th. It's EVERYONE'S

 

The Empowerment of Positive Choice in Our Lives!

In life, we can not control what is done to us, but we always have a choice in how we react to those tests and challenges.  Choice is what separates humans from other mammals. That is self-empowering.

 Even if we fail with one test or challenge…a new one will come along in which we get to choose all over again. Perhaps, it is so we finally get it right. Life, as given, isn’t always easy; it’s not supposed to be. However, when it comes to our own human faults, it is very forgiving in that we get to "correct" our human weaknesses and errors should we so choose.

Often, we do not especially like the choices as they are presented to us and sometimes they are even unfair…but they are choices nonetheless. It is empowering to know we have that ability to choose a new path...at any time. With each and every positive choice we make for ourselves... and towards others... we give ourselves honor. We also get to further define who we are as Human Beings. Think of this in even greater terms.

All of us lost something this past year. Unfortunately, so many lost employment, homes, and suffered financially in some way. In spite of outward appearances, no one has it all. Looks are very deceiving. 2021 has been a time of recovery and new opportunities. 

Have we taken full stock of what we already have; or have we just taken Life's given gifts for granted? Some of us lost our way in relationships either at work or at home. It will be a period of reconciliation and hopefully, forgiveness. And a few of us might even have slipped into areas of human weaknesses: drugs, alcohol, and unfaithfulness and perhaps hurt those we love. Are we stronger and recovered now? Have we atoned for our bad decisions and actions?

This year continues to be a journey of great personal strength and courage moving forward in a healthy and positive way. We're a bit past the halfway point of the year. Have we changed anything for the better? Have we become better people? Have we learned to correct our mistakes? Each and every day we each have the God-given ability to start over and make new choices.  

Real situations in a continued quest to improve our own Human Footprints in our time on Earth. Choose well.

PERSONAL INDEPENDENCE ON THE 4TH OF JULY!

This is Your Life! The Secret is in the Editing.

This is interesting to think about. While we can’t change the past or predict our future, we can change the present life we are living. We have the choice, every single day, to do what we’re doing and just how we do it. I would love to say that I’m going to “edit” all of the negativity out of my life, once and for all… and live happily ever after for ever. Of course, it’s not that easy. There are real life issues when it comes to living the present. Personal issues, family issues, health issues and… well, life itself crowds the every day agenda. If we could all just do what we wanted to do every day, it would be nice, but that’s not realistic either.

This brings us to a logical question: What can you take out of your present situation to make life more of what you want it to be? Believe it or not, there are even little things you can change to make your world more of what you want it to be. Too often we settle for things as they are, assuming that is how they have to be. They don’t. You have the God-given ability to “cut things out” : negative people, bad places, unhealthy activities and habits, and whatever it takes in order to improve your current Life’s Story. Just as when I’m editing the written word, it’s not easy to cut things out, but it can be accomplished.

This is what we need to do in real life too … edit. When you’re writing your life, you can’t have everything in the story or it gets cluttered and chaotic. What’s important to you? Not what’s important to the people around you, but to you! Give your own story strength of character and integrity of personal choices. You can’t control what others do, but you can control your own actions to the stimulus!

The past may be gone and the future might be uncertain, but we have the power to choose our "now.”

CHOOSE TO LIVE IT WELL.

WHAT?... " IT IS WHAT IT IS." I say ... NEVER!

When a long journey begins, or when a quest is undertaken, be it a pilgrimage of  Spirit or an ambition, desire, or hope... there is the excitement at the beginning… because the unknown still lies before us. But at some stage, we tire. The terrain can become unfamiliar. Issues arise, challenges greet us, and at this point, too many feel that this must not be meant to be – for we have told ourself that if it is truly meant to be, it will be easy. This is not always the case. 

Rarely, is LIFE easy.

It appears to be, for all, in both the seen and unseen worlds, there are parts of the "great journey" that require: stamina, courage, and endurance – our ability to commit, and to stay with the task until we have made it.  Do not enter into challenges lightly – enter into them, if at all, wholeheartedly.

Without what we describe as "a challenge," there will be no growth.  If we work through the challenges, we will emerge stronger, and then be more able to realize the next dream. If we run at the first sign of difficulty, we will never forget it; it will be considered a personal failure.  Perhaps, the time has come in life and work for us to build up your endurance. 

Commit. Practice. Train! No matter what the goal... give it our all. That's endurance of thought, word, or deed.

We may believe we are weak mentally or physically unable to complete a task. We may be committed to believing that there is no way our "strength" can increase. It is usually not about our physicality – so often, it is the amazing endurance of Spirit and Soul. Our creative force requires the ability to go that little bit further, to reach a little higher, to extend ourselves, to go well beyond our individual comfort zones.

The second part of our strength is preparing ourself and then strength will come through, just at the point we are ready to give up.  Keep going; we can go so much further than we believe we can! This is not the time to turn back or to allow the challenges/ tests to take us.

This is the time to continue the journey you committed to – because you are being tested and you can pass this test. But you must keep going. Eyes forward. Intention focused. Purpose clear!

Only then, if someone says, "It is what it is," might we agree.  Well, maybe.

Living Life to the Fullest. It's Good!

We live in a world of constant and often frightening change and never know of our tomorrow (s). I often ask myself … what will tomorrow bring! Will I have a blessed day with no worries or sickness upon me? Will I be able to cope with what will be passed to me through my day? Will I make a difference?

Finally, it dawns on me that I am so blessed to just be able to wake up and open my eyes each and every morning. I get to experience glorious Life, yet again. I should treasure each day and make everyday day count in my life.

We must not dwell on the past and ruin our present. Our past sometimes can haunt us and make our present day not too enjoyable. If your own past has haunted you and it’s fixable, then go after the problem and resolve it, so that you can live in peace. If it cannot be fixed, then choose to let it go.

As time and moments pass us by, they are then called memories and can be either positive or negative. We all want to have in our lives the best and happiest memories. None of us want to have bad memories of anything, but unfortunately, we will have many of them and disappointments to go along with them. It’s good to put everything in perspective.

I try to live everyday to the fullest and make each day count because there is no guarantee to the length of our individual times on Earth. In my journey, there have been acquired lessons of great value. Treat all people with respect and kindness. Turn the other cheek as hard as it might be. Learn to love and respect yourself, because without that, you will have a hard time loving and respecting others.

Really appreciate what you have in your Life and don’t take anything for granted. We can all improve the quality of our existence with some extra hard work to achieve a personal goal. However, if that goal is not achieved, the gain is in the personal knowledge that all effort was put forth in the venture of trying.

I try to make it a habit to glance into the sky and say thanks for all things in Life… exactly as given. My days are rewarding; yet challenging, happy; while melancholy at times, enlightening; even at this point in my life, and exhausting; while at the same time… I wouldn’t want it any other way.

Each day we experience is as different and individual as each one of us. May we all choose to live it well.

BE TOUGH on FUTURE GENERATIONS! IT'S OUR FUTURE.

I try to keep up with many of my former students' lives.  Over the years, I have taught so many; I'd like to say I remember them all, but that would be a lie.  I do remember all of those with "promise" and all of those with "struggles" as they took most of my attention and heart during the time I had them in the classroom. It's impossible for me  to say who touched me the most.  Was it the ones that had so much potential, and actually went on to accomplish great things after they left me, or the ones who had overcome great odds and just getting them to come to school and eventually graduate high school had been a feat in itself?   I  can't say.

In today's high-tech society it is easy to follow their progress... or lack of.  Often they contact me themselves, my own email address has been the same since AOL's inception and my students have  many times told me..."It's so you, Ms. Brown!"  For that reason alone, I will always keep it.  Lately, it has not been difficult to track them down on the Internet. Sometimes, it's through one of the conventional social connectors: i.e.  Facebook, Twitter, or now they tell me to Instagram them, whatever.  I also Google them and see what's going on with them good... or bad.
AND...every once in a while, I am sent a news article that delights me or causes me concern.  Technology makes us all connected... good and bad news.

It was one of the latter, that has been consuming most of my thinking the past few days.  I was forwarded  news  about one of the students that had held so much promise. He was gifted academically, a wonderful athlete, a leader in his class, and was ultimately accepted into one of the most prestigious universities in the Northeast.  He has now been out of college for quite a few years. The article read that He had just been sentenced to prison for the next decade of his life... on drug related charges.  It took my breath away.  How had this happened?

His proverbial fall from grace not only astounded me, but made me cry.  He was a student that had passed through my life and yet, I felt like I had failed him.  I can't even imagine the raw emotions his family must be having. The feelings must run the full reign from anger, sadness, failure, and shame... then back to anger!  I know that's what I felt anyway.

  How dare he throw his life away like that!   Life is about CHOICE and with each and every positive choice we make we define who we are. What I couldn't get my mind around was how selfish this young man had been.  He had thought of no one but himself with his destructive actions.  Hadn't he seen that?  Where had he "learned" that he could do whatever he wanted to and not be accountable?

When we are given gifts and/or talents in our individual journeys, during this time on Earth, and we throw them away... we are being disrespectful not only to our Creator, but to all who love, nurture, and take care of us.  It is  hard for me to reflect on the number of young people who come from really difficult backgrounds and home lives and do go on to make the world a better place for those who will follow them.  There are many of those, but many "choose" to go the wrong way too.  This was not the first former student who had chosen a destructive path in their lives.

It is then that I wondered with guilt if Society, as a whole, has just been too easy on America's youth and young adults in the past two decades!  I am the first to acknowledge that there are many wonderful young people, but have we lost something that used to be present years ago, by giving too much and asking too little of them.

When do they stop asking for: cars, trips, and parents to "bail them out"  when they get into legal and/or financial trouble.   It appears that WE  have created THE generation of "entitlement" in our country. There is an unspoken ME, among many of them, that is so troubling.  We love them so much that we honestly believe the way to make them love us back is to always: give, forgive, and ignore their negative choices.

Perhaps, we adults/parents are the selfish and needy ones.  It is difficult to have our  children not "love us" or even dislike us from time to time.  What I'm professing is that being  good parents, (coaches or educators as well), requires a strong backbone.  Being strong parents is necessary and we must be consistent, even when our "children" get older.

 There can be no copping out because it's easier to say "Yes," or "I'll get you out of it," or "Here's the money for...," saying"No!" is difficult, but often the only right thing to do.    However, with this said America's youth in the end accountable for their own screw ups! There are always consequences for bad choices and always have been. They did not consult with us when they had unprotected sex, bought and used drugs/alcohol illegally, ran up credit cards, or dropped out of school.  We need to recognize that they can learn from their mistakes.  We did.

We can not cure the problem(s) of our country's upcoming generations, but we sure can start fixing our own mistakes in how we love them and guide them in positive directions.

  Right now, we can, and must, start by being stronger parents/adults and bosses/supervisors ourselves.   Give our children less and speak up about any negative choices in their lives when seen necessary.  Counsel, wisely and compassionately, employees when they are heading in the wrong direction at work and personally.  Being strong and caring for others is not a negative thing; caring for others is the right thing both for them and others.